NEWS FLASH! 1NIGHT IN PARIS TO BE RELEASED!

April 22nd, 2004 // 3 Comments
parisporn

Finally my prayers have been answered. The Paris Hilton/Rick Solomon amateur porn night is going to have a proper release.

Red Light District Video, a suburban Los Angeles porn production company, said on Thursday it has acquired rights from Hilton’s ex-beau, Rick Salomon, to distribute the full 45-minute video in June under the title “One Night In Paris.”

Terms of the deal were not disclosed. A spokeswoman for the company said the homemade tape, parts of which surfaced last year on Internet porn sites, will be released commercially in adult video stores on June 15.

More details here.

After turning down offers by Disney, Mirimax, and Focus Films, Mr. Solomon decided that Red Light District Video (the number one name in hardcore gonzo video – what the fuck is hardcore gonzo video?) is the company for him. That clever Rick even came up with the catchy punny title 1 Night In Paris. Although, I don’t think he’s the only one whose spent one night in Paris. Other video titles offered by Red Light District Video: Young Tight Latinas #5, Fuckdolls #2 and French Connexxxion.

Red Light District said its video will include never-before-seen scenes from the tape Salomon and Hilton made in May 2001, including footage of the hotel heiress “partying in a nightclub.”

The footage of Paris “partying in a nightclub” will be so worth the price of the video. It’s like Al Capone’s vault being opened all over again. Now girls all over the world will get to witness what a 23-year-old hotel heiress looks like while “partying in a nightclub.”

To coincide with the porn video it’s rumored that Paris will be releasing her own video entitled “How To Party In a Nightclub Like a Hotel Heiress.” Some invaluable tips would be:

  • the proper way to puke and still have fresh breath
  • proper etiquette for making out with five different guys in three minutes
  • recipes for 100 different Red Bull cocktails
  • how to fall out of a car gracefully
  • how to properly accessory and still look slutty
  • While Paris is keeping herself busy with The Simple Life 2 and her book (he he), Rick will still just be whacking off to the same video he’s been whacking off to for the last three years and counting his cash.

    By Miu von Furstenberg
    asl

    1. HAh. Hah. Simply hilarious. This has got to be the most profound ever. Well done! =)

    2. Jordan

      If only for the party tips, the video could be indispensable . . .

      I’ve yet to master the art of puking whilst maintaining my usual kissablility; although I probably shouldn’t have given up on binge drinking so many years ago, as it’s clear now that I’ve missed out on what must be regarded as an art form among America’s elite.

      Recently I’ve chosen to acccessorize improperly, as I felt I didn’t quite have that “slutty” look I should have been going for. I look forward to dusiting off the ’92 gold-buckle Ferragamo loafers so that I might be able to rise again with the white gay gator (lacoste with fittingly erect/properly disheveled collar) and regain my status as QTtexasboy25.

      I must say, though…. After a little thought, that I don’t know that Paris could possibly spill from the backseat of a car as gracefully as Edina.

    Leave A Comment