News Bites: Patrick Swayze Is One Bad Muthatrucka

January 17th, 2009 // Leave a Comment

Hey everyone! Our prayers and good thoughts worked. Patrick Swayze beat pneumonia! WHOO-HOO! Go Swayze! “I am happy to announce that Patrick Swayze is home after a brief hospitalization for pneumonia,” his rep said. Buy that man a beer. The Swayze is currently spitting in the face of pancreatic cancer and will get back to promoting his new A&E series The Beast.  “I am alive and plan on continuing to stay that way,” he said this week. Damn straight!

Christie’s will be auctioning off a nude photo of Madonna taken in 1979. And let me tell ya something, I’ve seen this photo and ivory sinew Madonna has the 70s bush of 70s bushes. Like, men would need a machete to reach the lost ark if you know what I’m getting at. The most expensive one goes up on Feb 12. and will supposedly fetch up to $10,000. Someone out there likes shrubs. Big thick pre-celebrity shrubs.

Joaquin Phoenix launched his music career at Lavo in Las Vegas last night. Joaquin has obviously smoked too much chiba, because he’s starting to look like Vincent Gallo and has left the film industry to start a rap career. Sweet. Here’s some footage. Joaquin? River’s death wasn’t your fault. Take a shower and start talking to someone every other day. Maybe get some rest and then start looking at scripts again. Stop smoking bones dipped in formaldehyde. Please.


Hey everyone! Our prayers and good thoughts worked. Patrick Swayze beat pneumonia! WHOO-HOO! Go Swayze! “I am happy to announce that Patrick Swayze is home after a brief hospitalization for pneumonia,”
his rep said. Buy that man a beer. The Swayze is currently spitting in
the face of pancreatic cancer and will get back to promoting his new
A&E series The Beast.  “I am alive and plan on continuing to stay
that way,” he said this week. Damn straight!Christie’s will be auctioning off a nude photo of Madonna taken in 1979. And let me tell ya something, I’ve seen this photo and ivory sinew
Madonna has the 70s bush of 70s bushes. Like, men would need a machete
to reach the lost ark if you know what I’m getting at. The most
expensive one goes up on Feb 12. and will supposedly fetch up to
$10,000. Someone out there likes shrubs. Big thick pre-celebrity shrubs.

Joaquin Phoenix launched his music career at Lavo in Las Vegas
last night. Joaquin has obviously smoked too much chiba, because he’s
starting to look like Vincent Gallo and has left the film industry to start a rap career. Sweet. Here’s some footage.
Joaquin? River’s death wasn’t your fault. Take a shower and start
talking to someone every other day. Maybe get some rest and then start
looking at scripts again. Stop smoking bones dipped in formaldehyde.
Please.

By J. Harvey

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