News Bites (NYE All-Crime Edition): Matt Dillon Among Holiday Felons!

December 31st, 2008 // 1 Comment

- Matt Dillon was busted in Newbury, Vermont at 10 PM last night for driving 106 mph on Interstate 91. The posted speed limit there is 65. Seeing as he was so far over the limit, The Flash got arrested. Dillon (who starred in one of my favorite 70s teen rebellion flicks Over The Edge) was processed and released. He was driving a rented 2009 Chevy Impala. What’s the rush? It’s not like he had a film set to get to.

- Loathsome comedian Dane Cook helped Massachusetts State Police to bust his own brother, Darryl McCauley, for trying to steal millions of dollars from him yesterday in Wilmington, MA. McCauley has been Cook’s business manager since the 90s. Thanks, bro. It’s Dane Cook, who is about as funny as your grandmother being raped in an alley, but still. McCauley reportedly forged a $3 million check from Dane to himself and deposited it into his own account. Unless this guy has a massive drug/gambling problem, he’s about as stupid as Dane is unfunny. Which is very.

- Outspoken former NBA great Charles Barkley was busted in Arizona for DUI early this morning. Barkley was pulled over at 1:30 in Scottsdale and refused a breathalyzer so he was given a blood test. They can do that? Watch out, drunkies! Barkley was issued a citation for driving while impaired, and let go pending results of his blood test. He was reportedly civil to everyone involved which is a shock seeing as he used to spit on people in the stands at games.


- Matt Dillon was busted in Newbury, Vermont at 10 PM last night for driving 106 mph on Interstate 91. The posted speed limit there is 65. Seeing as he was so far over the limit, The Flash got arrested. Dillon (who starred in one of my favorite 70s teen rebellion flicks Over The Edge) was processed and released. He was driving a rented 2009 Chevy Impala. What’s the rush? It’s not like he had a film set to get to.- Loathsome comedian Dane Cook helped Massachusetts State Police to bust his own brother, Darryl McCauley,
for trying to steal millions of dollars from him yesterday in
Wilmington, MA. McCauley has been Cook’s business manager since the
90s. Thanks, bro. It’s Dane Cook, who is about as funny as your
grandmother being raped in an alley, but still. McCauley reportedly
forged a $3 million check from Dane to himself and deposited it into
his own account. Unless this guy has a massive drug/gambling problem,
he’s about as stupid as Dane is unfunny. Which is very.- Outspoken former NBA great Charles Barkley was busted in Arizona for DUI
early this morning. Barkley was pulled over at 1:30 in Scottsdale and
refused a breathalyzer so he was given a blood test. They can do that?
Watch out, drunkies! Barkley was issued a citation for driving while
impaired, and let go pending results of his blood test. He was
reportedly civil to everyone involved which is a shock seeing as he
used to spit on people in the stands at games.

By J. Harvey
asl

  1. lbjack

    Hey, smartass, are you so desperate for clever libel that you resort to calling someone arrested for speeding a “felon”? You’re quite a piece of garbage!

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