News Bites: Michelle Williams Gets Spiked

Michelle Williams is reportedly getting much closer with new companion Spike Jonze.
The two were spotted dining at LA’s Little Dom’s restaurant and
supposedly they were sharing kisses over the table. Good for her. Sex
is a good distraction for grief. Did you expect her to put on a
sackcloth and let it scab over? Haters!

Morgan Freeman
got in a bad car accident last weekend, and there were reports of a
female passenger in his car. Well she might have been there because
Morgan baby has been separated from his wife of 24 years since last
December, a business partner of his reveals. Freeman is old, but even
old people need to get it greasy once in awhile. Drive that Miss Daisy,
Morgan!

Mary-Kate Olsen will reportedly receive a subpoena related to Heath Ledger’s
death. The frail little gazelle has already reportedly told the
authorities via her attorney that she wants immunity before talking to
them about Heath’s drug use and why he was found dead at her crib. Can
they also ask her about some of her fashion choices? I need that shit
on the record.