News We’re Bored By: Charlie Sheen Files For Divorce

Charlie Sheen and Brooke Mueller filed for divorce yesterday, and Sheen is seeking joint physical and legal custody of their 1 1/2 year old twins, Bob and Max.

In addition to joint custody, Sheen is also claiming that any money he made after the December 25th fight with Mueller is his and his alone, and isn’t subject to community property laws.  Also included in his separate property claim is any money made before the two were married in May 2008.  The paper filings state “irreconcilable differences” (more diplomatic than “We engage in fisticuffs if left alone together”), Sheen only asks that Mueller pay legal fees (he didn’t fill in any information requesting spousal support).

While the domestic violence was still underway in Aspen, Colorado, Mueller and Sheen reached an agreement regarding the children and money in the (so very likely) event of a divorce.  Mueller would get $757,000 from Sheen, in addition to $1.2 million from the equity of their house, and $55,000 a month in child support.  The agreement also states that although the two would share joint custody, the twins would live primarily with Mueller.

I am never getting married.