New “Man vs. Wild” Episode Premieres Tonight!

In my personal fantasy, host of the Discovery Channel’s “Man vs. Wild,” Bear Grylls, and I meet briefly in a slightly awkward, yet sexually-tension-filled moment at the newsstand in the airport before we board our flight and survive a plane crash in some snow-filled mountains. There’s lots of “huddling together for warmth” involved, as well as “repopulating the planet for the good of human kind” going on as well. And somehow, I’m able to find an electrical outlet for my blow-dryer wherever we go, so that my hair is always properly styled. It’s all very “Survivor” meets “General Hospital.” In case you have absolutely no idea what I’m talking about, you should totally check out tonight’s premiere of the latest episode of “Man vs. Wild” on the Discovery Channel at 9PM ET/PT. Here’s a brief summary of the gist of the show:

A seasoned adventurer and former British Special Air Service soldier, Bear demonstrates the basic survival methods for specific locations — including navigation, making fire and finding water and food — and goes one step further.

And by one step further, they mean that he seriously puts himself into these situations, in order to show exactly how it is possible to survive in the various locales he’s visited and successfully get back to civilization. Tonight’s episode has Bear stranded in the Everglades, facing alligators and hunting for food. The best part of the whole show is Bear’s attitude in any given situation. He never loses his cool, even when faced with hypothermia, or a possible bear attack, he always depicts the situation cheerfully, with his crisp British accent and making such bright observations as, “If I’m being honest, at the moment, I’m quite devastated.”

Oh yeah, and did I mention that he’s HOT. Yes, that’s all caps, my friends.

Tags: Television