New Book Has Katie Holmes All In A Tizzy

Author, Lori Culwell, has recently come out with a satirical look at the entertainment industry entitled, “Hollywood Car Wash,” and Mrs. Tom Cruise is none too happy with the tome. And despite the fact that Culwell’s MySpace page claims that the main character does not intentionally mirror Katie and her life experiences, all of the characters and situations are, in fact, based on real people.

“Someone gave her a copy last weekend, and she’s been reading it non-stop ever since,” said one of the actress’ friends. “She’s already having problems with Tom, and now she feels like her private life has been exposed. She’s really upset.”

“Hollywood Car Wash” focuses on the rise of a young actress on a tv series who is forced to lose weight, takes drugs, is hounded by paparazzi, and gets into a contracted relationship. “Katie can’t believe the similarities,” said the source.

Ugh, I’m so jealous. I want to write a tell-all book that will upset people and get me a movie deal. The problem is that I have access to all kinds of secrets and information about people that no one cares about. My stupid friends and family need to hurry up and get famous. I have coattails to ride here, people.