Neo Can’t Drive

March 20th, 2007 // 10 Comments

Keanu Reeves crashed into a paparazzo . I know they’re annoying, but you can’t kill ‘em. Lohan is not a role model.

According to the L.A. County Sheriff’s Department, “Mr. Reeves pulled out of a parking space, parallel to the curb, and grazed a paparazzo” with his 1996 Porsche, around 8:45 PM Monday night in Rancho Palos Verdes.

The Sheriff’s Dept. claims that the man then, “fell to the ground,” and “paramedics were summoned.” The photog was transported by ambulance to a local hospital, where he was treated for unknown injuries. Reeves was not injured during the accident.

Oh, the humanity. I love when litigious idiots throw themselves prostrate across the hoods of celebrity cars. Their acting skills are better than those of the people they’re stalking. I’m gonna try and take some local Boston celebrites photo and then hurl myself in the path of his car and sue. Watch out, Jason Varitek! Jesus, it’s sad that celebrities in Boston usually only translates to “player for the Red Sox”.


By J. Harvey

  1. “Neo Can’t Drive”..

    He can’t act either, but that has never stopped him!

    What a dork! His best “acting” was Bill & Ted’s.

  2. stella

    hey, i hear that skinny girl who played lois lane is in cambridge, (kate bosworth?) go after her…
    and throw some fries at her or something, she needs it.

  3. He is so gross! Really, isn’t the shaggy beard/trucker hat thing been done? TO DEATH?

    He looks like he hasn’t bathed in weeks. Icky Icky Icky!

  4. holls

    No wait, I lived in Boston. I saw Steven Tyler downright constantly, and Richard Simmons once!

  5. lils

    …but he can fly

  6. Alexander

    It’s payback time for Princess Diana, I guess. They do seem to use their bodies to block the celebs in, a lot. Maybe it won’t be so attractive anymore to take pictures of them all the time.

  7. e

    you could go wait outside the whole foods on derby street in hingham for liv tyler to come in yet again and get overpriced ground up organic raisins.

  8. Lynne

    I love him.

  9. fongoolandfanabola

    The word is PROSTRATE, not prostate (an old man organ). With an R – ever read a book? Moron!

  10. Alex

    I just LOVE it that somehow Tekkie made it into an ASL post! That makes my day…

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