Natalie Portman Breaks Charlie Manson Out Of Jail to Enjoy The Springtime

Natalie Portman’s soon to be bunking down at Spahn Ranch with the other girls! Ok, that’s actually hippie guru-type musician Devendra Banhart. He’s Natalie Portman’s dude. I bet he’s into her cruelty-free shoes, and vegan lifestyle.

Here they are enjoying a stroll in the West Village in NYC and taking in spring. Don’t go to Pennyfeathers! That place sucks! They don’t know how to make a reuben!

But do go to Bleeker Bob’s Records. Just don’t buy the vintage Placebo shirt I wanted. They only had it in a medium and I have pudge and the snotty clerk was like “yeah, that’s all we carry.” He wanted to finish it off with “fatty,” but the boyfriend has large ape-like hands that can bash noses.

I need to get to the gym so I can fit my fat self into that t-shirt.

There would have been more Natalie Portman in this post but, besides noting that her boyfriend might have given the order to kill Sharon Tate, I’m kinda bored.


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