Naomi Watts Gives A Child To The World, Lindsay Lohan Not The Father

This is sweet. Nicole Kidman’s best pal and her slightly hot sperm donor Liev Schreiber’s baby was born today. Which is good because she was huge. She looked like she might have actually been seminated by King Kong whilst filming that flick. Damn. Huge belly. How did she move with that thing hanging off her front? Ladies, I salute you. That’s some rough stuff to go through. No wonder why Mom ripped my Dad’s shirt off in the delivery room and told him he was “f*cking killing her with this thing you put inside me”. Have you seen my melon? Ri-Ri Harvey had to expel that! Damn!

According to the insider, the arrival was slightly ahead of schedule. “Naomi was planning on giving birth next week– her due date was early August — but since she insisted on delivering naturally, she knew there was a chance she would have the baby before the due date. That’s what wound up happening.”


More details on the couple and their new baby after the jump.

The couple is keeping quiet about the sex of their baby, which the insider says even they didn’t know until the child’s birth. Says the insider: “This is a dream come true for both of them and they’ve done everything in their power to make it as special as possible, right down to staying in the dark about the baby’s sex right up until Naomi gave birth.”

They’ve been really secretive about this birth, which is nice I guess. But it’s not like you’re giving birth to the anti-christ or the next generation of nanobot assassins or to the CIA. You can ease up on the mystery. Liev was in the beginning of “Scream 3″. This is not a Brad and Angie affair, Mr. and Mrs. Self-Important.

UPDATE: Alexander Pete Schrieber weighed in at 8 lbs., 4 oz. That would be a boy.