My Heart Will Go On, In 3-D: ‘Titanic’ back in 2012!

July 6th, 2010 // Leave a Comment

What better way to celebrate the 100 year anniversary of the death of the passengers of the RMS Titanic than to re-release the James Cameron film in 3-D, right?

Things that will hopefully be improved by 3-D:

* the spectacle of ‘The Heart Of The Ocean,’ which will hopefully be so large that it feels like you could touch it

* The crevasses of Gloria Stuart’s wrinkles that will reinforce her age makeup

* Bill Paxton’s acting won’t seem as flat

* Icebergs will come alive as if in a giant Mario Bros. game

* Jack‘s nude drawing of Rose will come to life

* That epic, window-smacking, steamy sex scene will take the film to a whole new level

I feel that Cameron will use this also as an opportunity to insert test Avatars from the water-world sequel to guide us through the underwater wreckage. Or at least, that’s what I hope for.

Hopefully the apocalypse will happen after April so we can all at least make it to this. So we can all get back to Titanic one more time before the end of ages. And hopefully they’ll re-release Celine’s video in 3-D too.

By Justin Thompson
asl

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