Old Bitch Releases Annual Worst Dressed List, Though He’s Right About Posh Spice

January 8th, 2008 // 17 Comments

Who is this catty old queen? This relic is always releasing this list as if it’s as important as People’s “25 Sexiest Hoes” issue. Is it for a magazine? Maybe this meant something way back when Hedda Hopper was his best gal friend and they drank sidecars and got water from the well and he lost his lover in the Hindenberg disaster. But damn, this queen is naming Nellie from “Little House On The Prairie”? What did she ever do to him? She’s alive and on the red carpet? Anyway, keep reading after the jump for what he had to say about everybody.

Photos: Getty Images

Mr. Blackwell’s top 10 worst dressed list is after the jump.

10.) Alison Arngrim: “Little Nellie of the prairie, looks like a 1940′s fashion editor for the Farmers Almanac.”

9.) Lindsay Lohan: “Lindsay the fashion frenzy strikes again! Lohan takes fashion to a new low.”

8.) Jessica Simpson: “Forget the Cowboys. In prom queen screams, can it get any worse? She’s a global fashion curse!”

7.) Avril Lavigne: “Gothic make-up courtesy the mad spatula-Fashions provided by.. The house of Dracula!”

6.) Eva Green: “Stuck in neon nightmares not fit for the sane. Fashion this loud could give Bond a migraine! A profusion of confusion from toes to nose!”

5.) Kelly Clarkson: “Her heavenly voice soars above the rest… but those belly-baring bombs are hellish at best! She may be the queen of ‘Pro-Active’ – but that wardrobe looks downright radioactive!”

4.) Fergie: “Another style-free ‘Fergie’ in fashion’s hall of shame? Yes, when it comes to couture chaos, guess it’s all in a name!”

3.) Mary Kate Olsen: “YIKES! In layers of cut-rate kitsch, Mary Kate’s look is hard to explain… she resembles a tattered toothpick-trapped in a hurricane!”

2.) Amy Winehouse: “Exploding beehives above…tacky polka-dots below… she’s part 50′s car-hop horror.”

1.) Victoria Beckham: “Forget the fashion spice – wearing a skirt would suffice! In one skinny-mini monstrosity after another, pouty posh can really wreck-em.”

By J. Harvey

  1. ME!!!

    Please, that old fag wouldn’t know style if it smacked him upside the head. Who doesn’t envy VB’s wardrobe?!

  2. Dianne

    Wouldn’t it have been great to see Plastic Posh’s face when she saw the list? I’m sure it was a perfect mirror of “The Scream”.

  3. When are the Iambic Pentameter Awards again? I have a feeling someone’s going to sweep it yet again…

  4. T-Bone

    Couldn’t agree with Mr. Blackwell more, although I’d like to add a few including Mariah Carey and Sienne Miller.

  5. MardiGras

    That’s right! Mariah Carey should have a permanent position on the list. You know she’ll be wearing the same too-tight cheap-looking dresses when she’s 70.

    I think it’s VB’s face and body that ruin her outfits. On anyone else, most of them would look awesome. She’s just so scary-looking that all I notice is her perpetual poker face and ridiculous boobs.

  6. Joel

    Actually, if you did research, Blackweel has been doing this for decades. And his partner is still quite well and alive last I heard. And, truthfully, he’s exactly correct in every single instance. Can’t complain about accuracy

  7. Jennifer

    I wholeheartedly agree with the list. When are they gonna stop dressing like streetwalkers claiming it’s high fashion?

  8. cris

    oh whatever blackwell. eva green dresses the way she does because she doesn’t give a shit what you think, and that’s why i love her.

  9. blah

    Ok, how in the hell is Victoria worse than Amy Winehouse? That just doesn’t make sense. It’s odd that she’s considered the worst by this limerick writing hag, when she was given an award for the most stylish or something in 07.

  10. clark

    Victoria Beckham is almost always on. (save the weird bathing suit costume) she’s fashion forward and you guys obviously don’t know anything about actual fashion. you probably “read” In style & Lucky magazines.(puke)

  11. Gus

    Ivana Trump (mommy) , Ms.Tom Cruise , Diana Ross….

  12. Ugh

    He’s either blind or refuses to wear his much needed glasses.

  13. James,just my openion...

    I agree with his views,Posh looks strange and pretty awful,on anyone else the outfits she wears would look good.Posh V.B. looks to thin with no muscle tone in her legs,she’s all bones which makes her look alot older.Her face narrows down to a point at the chin,like women do when they are in there 80′s or 90′s when they refuse to eat anymore.Her boobs (LOL,ha ha ha ha)look like a couple of cantalopes stuck in a bra.Back in the 80′s she dressed terrible but she was the prettiest one in the bunch,WHAT HAPPENED TO HER,to much plastic surgery and not enough food….I guess????? Someone throw this poor woman a biscut to eat.

  14. cuddlesmcgee

    Posh created the short bob hair style that is currently popular, several times she caused a sell out rush for the dress or look in stores last year.Blackwell is just jealous.

  15. GirlyGirl

    LMAO at Hedda, sidecars, and the Hindenberg. EXCELLENT retro-pop culture references there…

  16. ceejay

    Pardon me but by what stretch of the imagination could VB have “created” the short bob when the hairstyle and various variations thereof have been around since the early twentieth century? Please open a book…

  17. fcwowie

    Ha! And Victoria Beckham thought she was all that and a bag of chips!!! See what happens to vain people who shamelessly promote themselves!!!

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