No Comparison

October 30th, 2007 // 19 Comments

Comparing Jessica Simpson to the gorgeousness that is Michelle Pfeiffer is like comparing a beautiful diamond to a rancid kidney stone. Often times I will refer to Angelina Jolie as The Most Beautiful Woman In The World but I’m pretty sure it’s actually Michelle. Look at her. LOOK AT HER. Flawless. She makes Demi Moore look like Quasimodo. But she’s wrong about something. She thinks “Grease 2″ is a crap film. I think “Grease 2″ is the most magical of filmmaking. F*ck “Look At Me, I’m Sandra Dee”. Howabout “We’re Gonna Bowl Tonight” and “Cool Rider” and “I’ll Be Your Girl For All Seasons”? Jesus Christ, I’m almost weeping. Talk about cinema that changed the world! If you ever get the chance, please re-watch “Grease 2″ and note Michelle’s amazing performance of “Cool Rider”. Note her “Cool Rider” dance, and how after she dances away from the school you can still hear her crazy Stephanie ass singing. It’s a howl. Anyway, they’re allegedly going to remake the first one with Jessica Simpson’s braindead self as Sandy and Michelle (who must have had a few cocktails or was feeling particularly generous at the time of this interview) thinks it’s a good idea. Why?

Michelle said: “It’s a great idea and I hear they would like to get Jessica Simpson for the role of Sandy, she would be good.

“I would love to play the school principal. She is fun and has some great put-down lines. I think I would like the part now that I have been asked.”

Michelle regretted taking the part of Stephanie Zinone in ‘Grease 2′ and believes it set her career back 10 years.

The ‘Hairspray’ star is quoted by a British newspaper as saying: “I hated that film with a vengeance and could not believe how bad it was. At the time I was young and didn’t know any better.

Michelle, you don’t mean that! That’s just your TV guru husband David Kelley speaking! You loved playing Stephanie! You loved working with Adrian Zmed and Lorna Luft! And Rex Manning! I seriously need to leave the f*cking house once in awhile, huh?

Photos: WENN
Photos: Getty Images

By J. Harvey

  1. TS

    Totally agree Michelle Pfeiffer is lovelier than Angelina.

    And Jessica Simpson looks amazing since she lost the weight! She really needs to stay thin. Wow!

  2. rootabega

    if this happens i am officially moving out of the united states.

  3. Eyes of Green

    OK, I’m sorry, but Note to Hollywood Morons:

    Sorry for the all caps, at home today and have had a whiskey already. Plus, this was John Travolta before we knew he was insane and crazy and he still had his fab hair. And Olivia, what can you say about her other than NO ONE else can be Sandy. No one. Period.

  4. OMG-did Michells P make a deal with the devil-she looks great-hasn’t aged a bit.

  5. nisey

    So….being from the south can now qualify you for the exchange student program w/in the US?! Please God, do not ask her. Her dad will want to play Danny!

  6. Jerri Blank

    Maxwell Caulfield still makes me all PUFFY down there. Moist as a snack cake. Rrr!

  7. Anon

    Michelle is hands-down more beautiful than slutty Angelina. When you consider the “most beautiful woman in the world,” you have to consider the entire woman, not just the face. While Angie has a beautiful face, the rest of her is not so beautiful. Her arms, legs and hands are downright fug. Bony, veiny and unattractive.

    Jessica isn’t even in the contest. At all.

  8. Lori

    I hope they do remake Grease with Jessica in the leading role. It will serve them right to ruining that great movie again (Grease 2 sucked hard, sorry Michelle)! Plus, Jessica is the most annoying person on the planet so I’d love for her to have another huge flop among her movie credits.

  9. Hayley

    Grease 2 rocked! Cool Rider was one of my favourite songs….Michelle should be proud, how many actresses have been cruising on a motorbike with their dream guy, climbed around in motion to straddle him from the front AND kept their pitch?
    (and I’m not interested in any filmmaking nonsense like blue screen ruining my fantasy)

    And also REPRODUCTION! (reproduction!) Baby give it to me now…..

  10. Loob

    Rex Manning! AHAHAA! I love you J.Harv!

    Actually my hubster has an unusual opinion of the Pfeiffer, he says her eyes always look “red and wet”, and it grosses him out! He prefers her sister Dedee.

    Remaking Grease? An absolutely disastrous, laughable idea, but also good in that it is completely doomed to fail. Which is nice.

  11. mateo

    Oh how I loved Grease 2 as a child. My first glimpse of Maxwell Caulfield told me everything I needed to know: I thought he was prettier than Michelle Pfeiffer. Of course I didn’t understand what that meant…but it was oh so amazing to imagine being Michelle straddling him on that damn bike and singing “I want a C. O-O-L. R-I-D-E-R. And I still sing Girl For All Seasons to myself way too much.

  12. Zekers

    Michelle Pfeiffer is beautiful and talented and manages to keep her personal life, well, personal! Angelina could learn a lot from Ms. Pfeiffer’s example. I’ve been a fan of Pfeiffer’s forever (say that five times real fast)!

    …oh, and please, no re-make of Grease…bad idea. Jessica Simpson only makes it a worse idea.

  13. Jennifer

    Michelle does look great. How old is she now anyway? She must be pushing 50. She looks extra super great considering her age.

  14. Zekers

    I think she is past the big 5-0…and looks better than most of the 20-somethings flitting around Hollywood!

  15. spaz

    yes, you can buy “pretty”.

    while I agree that ms. pfeiffer is very beautiful, and moreso (IMO) than jolie, she wasn’t always so beautiful.

  16. NYSailorScout

    Michelle is a dear but she needs to shut up. “Grease 2″ is the only thing that she has ever done that I actually LIKED. Beautiful woman, great actress, horrible taste in film projects. Man, but she can pick boring scripts!

    She was interesting in Grease 2. She needs to recapture that.

  17. Vince

    I agree with NYSailorScout. Grease 2 is the best thing Michelle ever did. One of my favorite movies. I fell in love with Stephanie Zinone (and Michelle Pfeiffer)

  18. krystyn

    oh for heaven’s sake, is this for real?

    “And Jessica Simpson looks amazing since she lost the weight! She really needs to stay thin. Wow!”

    The girl has probably never weughed more than 100 lbs and she looks good now because she’s THIN???


  19. jane_smith

    Regardless of her weight Jessica simpson is starting to look manly if most of the pics I’ve seen of her in the past year. Is she having plastic surgery on her face? I’ve never noticed any other women morphing into that-skinny-white-crackhead-on-the-corner looking dudes as they age…

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