Michael Vartan Likes Animals Or Something…

Australia is reveling in “Alias” and “Never Been Kissed” actor Michael Vartain’s love of…animals? Is this a news story? Damn. What’s he been up to? I stopped watching “Alias” when they made his character some kind of undercover French or Russian spy and messed with the previous three years of continuity. I’m a geek and I despise that crap. Anyway, Vartan’s in Outback Steakhouse land to take place in a celebrity poker tournament and wowed everyone with his treatment of birds. He reportedly saved a bird that fell out of its nest in Melbourne. This spurred an actual news story. No, really. Well, I guess there’s a pattern because Vartan claims he also turned down an invite to a NYE party at the Playboy Mansion to stay at home with his dog. Ok, I have some serious questions. Now I get it. Thank you, Australia. This story is actually necessary because I want to know how magical that dog must be for a straight dude to turn down bare breasts in a grotto and kegs of champagne for Duchess the Pekinese and Dick Clark’s stroke face. Gay? Recovering addict? Depressed? Michael Vartan might run deep like a river.

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