Michael Pheleps And His Pornstache Are A Winning Combo

June 14th, 2009 // 5 Comments

Swimmer Michael Phelps still has it. Michael Phelps has held off a late charge by his rivals to win the 400-meter freestyle at the Santa Clara International Grand Prix.

Phelps cruised to an early lead in Saturday night’s final, but he had to dig in over the final 100 meters to win in 3 minutes, 48.40 seconds under sunny, windy conditions at the outdoor pool.

He may want to think of getting rid of that ugly furry thing on top of his lip, I’m thinking it may have slowed him down.

Phelps has rarely swum the event over the years, and he didn’t advance to the 400 free final at the 2005 world championships in Montreal, a failure that still bothers him.

Gallery Info: Michael Phelps at the Santa Clara International Grand Prix

By Miu von Furstenberg
asl

  1. liz

    Is he trying to look like Mark Spitz?
    For me Phelps is a total butterface.

  2. american dreamer

    I think Phelps is reliving the adolescence he lost when he had to focus exclusively on swimming. (All guys grow a pornstache the first time they are hirsute enough to do so…its a right of passage.)

    Sadly one thing about all men is true: the taller they are the smaller they are (he probably has a baby dick).

    Thats also probably why he dated an asian chick. They dont mind. I know that sounds awful but its true.

  3. Jilly

    Or maybe he’s starring as Borat Jr.

    Heaven spare us from armchair psychologists and know-it-alls.

  4. Lily

    “Sadly one thing about all men is true: the taller they are the smaller they are (he probably has a baby dick).”

    Seems like you have a retarded baby brain.

  5. stewie

    is that his butt or a fat roll bulging out the back?

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