Michael Musto Congratulates Celebrities

We’ve always loved what Michael Musto has to say; he has one of the sharpest tongues in the gossip world. But, for a change of pace, he’s decided to congratulate celebrities who have done well for themselves. A few of the highlights:

Lindsay Lohan: Yes, perhaps you are fully loaded, but there’s way too much lip-smacking about that in the press, and what gets lost is that you’re effortlessly charming on-screen and have been a slick, capable star ever since you played twins, and even before that as Alexandra “Alli” Fowler #3 on Another World. I value you as an actor even as I devour you as a good-copy machine. You’re welcome. Now go home.

Madonna: Your save-the-world speech at Live 8 was followed by your icily telling the band, “Come on, go!” Millions found the moment appalling, but hey, it was time for them to start already. I love that you amazingly still manage to shock and awe and irritate the bejesus out of people.

Sienna Miller: Cheers for supposedly dumping the lawless JUDE LAW (though you never should have been wearing a modern engagement ring in a Shakespeare play anyway). Go lesbo and I’ll love you even more!

Among those also mentioned are Suzanne Somers, Glenn Close, Brangelina, but then he gets sidetracked by Fabian Basabe and Paris Hilton. Michael also reveals that he’s terrified of Dakota Fanning, but who isn’t.

La Dolce Musto [Village Voice]