Michael Jackson Is Not Sick (Well…)!

December 23rd, 2008 // 2 Comments

The big story yesterday was that Michael Jackson was reportedly ill with a rare genetic disorder that had taken the site in his left eye, given him intestinal bleeding and left him in need of a lung transplant. Not so, says his reps. Jesus Juice? Still juicin’ and ready to take on the world! Hide your kids.

MJ’s official spokesperson Dr. Tohme Tohme (what the….oh, why not just have Bubbles speak up? Witch doctor!) says that the story is a “total fabrication” and MJ biographer Ian Halpernin is a filthy liar out to destroy everything Michael has worked for! Ok, he didn’t say that but you know Michael did in a breathy voice.

Sources say that MJ is even planning a tour. He’s probably looking to raise funds to get his child molesting park back.


The big story yesterday was that Michael Jackson was reportedly ill with a rare genetic disorder that
had taken the site in his left eye, given him intestinal bleeding and
left him in need of a lung transplant. Not so, says his reps. Jesus
Juice? Still juicin’ and ready to take on the world! Hide your kids.MJ’s official spokesperson Dr. Tohme Tohme (what the….oh, why not just have Bubbles speak up? Witch doctor!) says that the story is a “total fabrication” and MJ biographer Ian Halpernin
is a filthy liar out to destroy everything Michael has worked for! Ok,
he didn’t say that but you know Michael did in a breathy voice.Sources say that MJ is even planning a tour. He’s probably looking to raise funds to get his child molesting park back.

By J. Harvey
  1. stolidog

    I must say, I care about as much about Ms. Jackson’s health as I do about Ms. Lohan’s genital warts.

  2. Jeanette_dianne

    I am so sick and tired of reading crap that is written about michael jackson. For the love of God, he was never convicted of doing ANYTHING! He was ACQUITTED! Leave the man alone! Has he not been through enough in his life?

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