Michael Jackson: 50 Years Of Terror!

August 28th, 2008 // 22 Comments

Michael Jackson turns 50 tomorrow! He was snapped wandering around the Planet Hollywood casino in Las Vegas looking like he had somehow broken out of a laboratory somewhere and was dazed and wondering what to do.

Michael also has a hot new look to usher in fifty years of experimenting with his flesh and gently massaging children. He’s taken to wearing a red velour baseball cap with some sort of gold plate on the front. Perhaps it’s an award for “Most Children Touched” or something.

If I was in Vegas and wandering around drunk and this rolled up on me in the casino, I would immediately return to my room and swear off booze. I wouldn’t have thought it was real, and would have chalked it up to absinthe or something. Look at that! It’s like Mickey Mouse had a deformed cousin who was in a fire!


Michael Jackson turns 50 tomorrow! He was snapped wandering around the Planet Hollywood casino in Las Vegas looking like he had somehow broken out of a laboratory somewhere and was dazed and wondering what to do.Michael
also has a hot new look to usher in fifty years of experimenting with
his flesh and gently massaging children. He’s taken to wearing a red
velour baseball cap with some sort of gold plate on the front. Perhaps
it’s an award for “Most Children Touched” or something.If I was
in Vegas and wandering around drunk and this rolled up on me in the
casino, I would immediately return to my room and swear off booze. I
wouldn’t have thought it was real, and would have chalked it up to
absinthe or something. Look at that! It’s like Mickey Mouse had a deformed cousin who was in a fire!

By J. Harvey
  1. green cardigan

    You know its sad really. If he wasn’t such a weirdo pervert, people would be celebrating his huge talent tomorrow and all that he has contributed to the modern music..Thriller, Billie Jean, Beat It, the moon walk, the glittery glove…he’s one in a million really.

    He looks deranged in these photos. The frigging pyjama bottoms and he’s really skinny again. The old grip on reality is fairly slippery, i’d say. God help his masked children.

  2. green cardigan

    Oh, and by the way, if I was in Vegas and ths rolled up to me, i’d shove money in its mouth, yank its arm and see did I hit the jackpot.

  3. M-

    None of the pictures are of Michael Jackson people

  4. ibth

    Who are these pictures of then? Britney Spears with a wig?

  5. YAH HUH

    The pic of pajama pant boy IS MJ!
    The closeup picture is an age enhanced photo IF MJ had NOT deformed his once handsome face with plastic surgery. A What If photo.
    The photos in the car are pretty odd…..dunno if that’s him or not.
    So there

  6. say what?

    egad, it’s just so sad what he’s done to himself.

  7. JaJa

    What a silly post. The pics in the care are so obviously not Michael Jackson.

    The guy is eccentric, so what?

    The accusations are from 1993 and 2003. The thrial was in 2005. That was three years ago. He was convincingly acquitted. So move on already.

  8. JaJa

    What a silly post….

    The pictures from the car are so obviously not Michael Jackson.

    The guy is eccentric, so what?

    And the accusations are from 1993 and 2003. Both were included in a trial in 2005. That’s three years ago and the man was convincingly acquitted on all charges. Move on already…

  9. vladimir

    MICHAEL JACKSON IS A KING!!!!!!!!!!! King of PoP!!!!

  10. flavor170

    I love michael jackson he’s the king of pop i remeber when he first started out in the music industry i,have all his music.i just want to say happy birthday michael god bless u.

  11. flavor170

    I love michael jackson he’s the king of pop i remeber when he first started out in the music industry i,have all his music.i just want to say happy birthday michael god bless u.

  12. JaJuan Striggles

    Hello MJ, I am always looking for any new about you coming back to the scene. I really do miss you and wishing that you will come back to the stage. Your fans are just waiting for your return. You are always in our prayers. No mater what they try to say about you MJ, we will always love you. You will always have a place in my heart. I can’t wait to see your beautiful children proform with you. Much love MJ your # 1 fan.

  13. JaJuan Striggles

    Hello MJ, I am always looking for any new about you coming back to the scene. I really do miss you and wishing that you will come back to the stage. Your fans are just waiting for your return. You are always in our prayers. No mater what they try to say about you MJ, we will always love you. You will always have a place in my heart. I can’t wait to see your beautiful children proform with you. Much love MJ your # 1 fan.

  14. JaJuan Striggles

    Hello MJ, I am always looking for any new about you coming back to the scene. I really do miss you and wishing that you will come back to the stage. Your fans are just waiting for your return. You are always in our prayers. No mater what they try to say about you MJ, we will always love you. You will always have a place in my heart. I can’t wait to see your beautiful children proform with you. Much love MJ your # 1 fan.

  15. Benny McBridle

    Why do people post comments TO celebs in celeb gossip blog pieces like this? Does JaJuan really think Mr. Jackson will read this? And why do these kinds of comments always seem to be written by a batshiat crazy stalker-fan? And why can’t they ever spell anything properly?

  16. Bixie

    OMG I can’t wait till he comes out with his Katrina single! That’ll show all the haters.

  17. eric

    what is it? seriously, at one point, i accepted him as a member of the human race, but that was nearly 30 years ago…. what is it?

  18. eric

    what is it? seriously, at one point, i accepted him as a member of the human race, but that was nearly 30 years ago…. what is it?

  19. angel

    the picture with that cap on isnt him unless he’s changed heads with a well known las vegas lookalike Mjack!

  20. chloe

    i think micheal jackosn is the best. who cares if he can’t sing or dance anymore he has had a great life and no one can reck that. te picture that is shown is a really gd one and its showing u wat he looks like he looks really kl LOVE U MICHEAL LOL

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  22. Melanie

    Im sure u guys r beating urself up for writing such rubbish about Michael Jackson. I hope u lot are proud. Look at all uve said about him and now that hes gone, how do u feel? People are mean and i feel sorry for all of you that have talked bad about Michael Jackson, may God forgive u all for hating on an innocent being.

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