Michael Lohan Knows How To Treat The Ladies

Setting an example and continuing to stay classy, Michael Lohan was arrested last night on charges of domestic abuse, according to E!, including “Inflicting corporal injury on a cohabitant, false imprisonment and preventing a report of victimization.”   Reports claim Lohan was walking by the Sheriff’s station last night in West Hollywood when they brought him in for A) Holding the imbecile dumb enough to date him against her will B) Preventing her from calling 911 C) Causing minor injuries by roughing her up during this whole debacle. No word on what kind of injuries Lohan’s unidentified girlfriend sustained, but methinks she might want to get her head examined. Is this “unidentified girlfriend” Real Housewives Of New Jersey’s Kim Granatell?  After all, the two were spotted smooching in NYC for a new reality show. Gag me.

Tellingly, @Celebsightings tweeted yesterday that Lohan was seen outside his West Hollywood home in a most unpleasant state:

RIGHT NOW: Michael Lohan outside condo bldg Alta Loma/Holloway pacing + yelling at someone on the phone. (Mon 9:32AM)

PHOTOS: Michael Lohan Charged With Harassing Kate Major

While being held at the police station, Lohan complained of an unidentified ass-ache and was promptly taken to  Cedars-Sinai Medical Center, where he remains today. Does Dr. Drew give “patients” a list of nonsense in order to  meet Celebrity Rehab standards?  It’s not enough to be a mess. This man’s is reaching for “hot mess.”

Lohan was moving things out of daughter Lindsay’s West Hollywood apartment while she was in rehab back in early January.  Lindsay is due back in court and expected to make a decision on a presented plea bargain on jewelry theft charges against her.

*UPDATE* The “unidentified girlfriend* is Kate Major, according to TMZ.  Major went back to the apartment she shares with Lohan to pick up stuff last night, and Lohan behaved violently towards her.  Major told cops that when she turned her back on him, Lohan grabbed her and threw her across the room.  When Major attempted to call 911, Lohan took a towel and tried to choke her with it.