Matthew McConaughey, “Bachelor of the Year”? Huh?

June 15th, 2007 // 12 Comments

People magazine, you’re confusing me. By selecting the crazy-haired, spandex-loving, workout-obsessed Matthew McConaughey as “Bachelor of the Year,” you test my understanding of the very definition of the word “bachelor.” Upon hearing that word, the image comes to mind of a dashing, debonair individual, who is sometimes prone to handing out roses to single women in an effort to select his lady love while sporting a tuxedo and a charming smile. The image is decidedly not that of a man who often looks as if he might have a problem with the whole, “No shirt, No Shoes, No Service,” concept as a whole.

You know how that homeless, drug-addicted homeless guy on the corner probably has a six-pack on him? Well, that’s kind of how I feel about Matthew McConaughey. Sure, he’s got a flat stomach, but it’s probably because he’s sporting crackhead abs, along with a really pungent body odor that comes from urinating on himself and living under a bridge. I’m just saying.


By Lisa Timmons

  1. Am

    This makes about as much sense as Lohan topping the Maxim list. WTH is wrong with these editors? How much are they getting paid?

  2. green cardigan

    Or the editors are so bleeding ancient that anyone with their own teeth, most of their hair and still unmarried by 40, qualifies.

    Just a thought

  3. HelenSparkles

    I did think bachelor meant single? He may not be permanently attached but Matthew is hardly ever without a lady, as in these photos.

  4. Mr. T

    OMG Lisa, you are so funny. I almost pissed myself and I’m not even a homeless lad!

  5. Rebecca

    I just don’t get the appeal factor with this guy.

  6. Persistent Cat

    He’s so insanely hot, I’d do a lot of things with him that I’d normally say no to. In an alley, no less. Replace the word Bachelor with Hottest. And bachelor is really just single, not some probably gay douchebag who gets off on watching women degrade themselves. Sorry, that was harsh. I just think Matthew Mcconlakhgioehwey is so so so hot.

  7. Anita

    u funny lisa

  8. hak123

    Yeah, but remember they named Taylor Hicks the bachelor of the year last year. So they’re obviously a little warped when it comes to this distinction.

  9. cort

    I always thought he looked like a wet dog..dont ya think??

  10. cort

    I always thought he looked like a wet dog..dont ya think??

  11. stolidog

    I always thought he looked like a gay. You know why? Because he is a gay.

  12. far

    wait, how about my jake gyllenhaal?

    we are talking about bachelor of the year right?

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