Mary-Kate Olsen’s In The Hospital

November 20th, 2007 // 3 Comments

Tiny fashionista millionaire and “Weeds” star Mark-Kate Olsen was rushed to the hospital yesterday with a kidney infection. She probably took ill when she discovered her sister Ashley was doing that older guy with the bike. That’s no joke. J. Harvey only has one kidney, and needs to avoid anything happening to remaining one at all costs. There is no way in hell I’m gonna go out like Julia Roberts in “Steel Magnolias”. Not with that haircut!

At press time, Mary-Kate was resting comfortably and was expected to be released in the next couple of days, according to her rep Nicole Caruso.

These chicks need to take better care of themselves. You can’t just live on cigarettes and whatever Starbuck’s is offering. At least get the peppermint hot chocolate! Mmmmmmm, damn that’s good. And essential to my burgeoning triple chin.

By J. Harvey

  1. James

    Bummer! I love MK! Hope she feels better!

  2. 2 Old 4 This

    the Steel Magnolia reference shot coffee out my nose


  3. Carmen

    Getting a KI doesn’t mean that she doesn’t take care of herself. Almost all women get at least one KI in their life.
    The are cause by holding in your pee too long or having a bladder infection that spreads to the kidneys.

    Lower back pain
    Fever & chills
    Death(if not treated)

    Pain medication

    She’s probably going to loose a bunch of weight because of this. It’s impossible to eat and keep anything down until the infection starts to go away. When she comes back into public looking emaciated don’t be surprised.

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