Mary-Kate Olsen Dropped Out Of School Because Of “Spies”

Paranoia strikes deep! Into your heart it will creep! At least her excuse is better than mine. Becoming way too preoccupied with porn in the computer lab and not going to class anymore isn’t something that flies well with the parents. But look where it’s gotten me! People hating me for thinking Angelina’s pretty! The good life! Er, Mary-Kate Olsen told New York magazine that she left NYU because of some wacky conspiracy theory.

The rapidly-aging celebutwin tells New York magazine this week that she bailed on NYU because she was spooked by classmates who were spying on her; selling their snitchy stories to tabs and working at glossies that were happy to receive dispatches from the classroom. “They’d have internships at the weeklies,” says MK. “Learning is not fun if you’re not safe.”

All those people peering out through eye holes cut in newspapers must have freaked her ass out. What a loony tune. What the hell were they reporting? How she holds her pen? If she drools on the desk if she falls asleep during a lecture? She’s actually still enrolled in NYU but is now concentrating on releasing a clothing line called The Row with her twin troll. I’m picturing a lot of Big Edie and Little Edie. There’s some Beale up in there, I know it. Hopefully one of the pieces includes a fake nose and glasses to disguise one from the spies. And maybe an aluminum foil helmet to stop the Martians from broadcasting signals into their crazy heads.

More Photos of Mary Kate After the Jump