Mary-Kate Olsen Dropped Out Of School Because Of “Spies”

August 20th, 2007 // 17 Comments

Paranoia strikes deep! Into your heart it will creep! At least her excuse is better than mine. Becoming way too preoccupied with porn in the computer lab and not going to class anymore isn’t something that flies well with the parents. But look where it’s gotten me! People hating me for thinking Angelina’s pretty! The good life! Er, Mary-Kate Olsen told New York magazine that she left NYU because of some wacky conspiracy theory.

The rapidly-aging celebutwin tells New York magazine this week that she bailed on NYU because she was spooked by classmates who were spying on her; selling their snitchy stories to tabs and working at glossies that were happy to receive dispatches from the classroom. “They’d have internships at the weeklies,” says MK. “Learning is not fun if you’re not safe.”

All those people peering out through eye holes cut in newspapers must have freaked her ass out. What a loony tune. What the hell were they reporting? How she holds her pen? If she drools on the desk if she falls asleep during a lecture? She’s actually still enrolled in NYU but is now concentrating on releasing a clothing line called The Row with her twin troll. I’m picturing a lot of Big Edie and Little Edie. There’s some Beale up in there, I know it. Hopefully one of the pieces includes a fake nose and glasses to disguise one from the spies. And maybe an aluminum foil helmet to stop the Martians from broadcasting signals into their crazy heads.

More Photos of Mary Kate After the Jump

By J. Harvey

  1. peachpie


    that’s one helluvan excuse to not finish college.

  2. Sounds pretty reasonable to me, people in New York will do anything for a buck.

  3. Sounds pretty reasonable to me, people in New York will do anything for a buck.

  4. Lily

    They were reporting on anything she did around the time Paris Hilton stole her boyfriend, remember?

  5. silvarga

    Maybe she should’ve tried a different affluent school in some other region, like USC or maybe buy her way into an ivy league school.

    Still though, She should talk to a screenwriter: her reason for leaving might make a good premise for a movie.

  6. I am not saying it is a good reason not to finish school – a better one would have been, who needs school bitches look at the money I got. Her claims are valid though, there was actually a story in Jane Magazine last year written by a person who had gotten an intern job to spy on MK and report to the tabliod.

    I know that would bug me.

  7. peachpie

    yeah ok, so they were ‘spying’ on her. big deal. the more “upset” she gets, the more the tabs have to say. she shoulda just let it go and the furor would have gone with it.

    puhleeze — she loves being able to say ‘poor me. i couldn’t even finish school b/c they were spying on me.’. moan, bitch, whine. moan, bitch, whine. cry into your bag of money, honey. give me a break. cynical? you betcha.

  8. green cardigan

    Rubbish…..the real reason she quit was because the chairs in the lecture halls were too high for her to climb up on.

  9. ZeldaF

    With all her money, she could buy a teeny tiny stepladder to carry around with her so she could climb up on the chairs for lecture. Actually, with all her money, she could just buy “someone” to carry it around for her. But really, even tho she has loads of money, she should continue her education. Lord knows we have more than enough, young, wealthy, ignorant celebutards running amok, degerating the gene pool. Paris, Brandon, etc., etc., etc.,

  10. green cardigan

    ZeldaF- but even with the teeny weeny troll ladder, even if she made it up onto the chair she wouldn’t be able to reach her desk.

    It’s a sad fact that no matter how much money you have, few colleges cater to the needs of tweeny trolls.

  11. Why do I get the sneaking feeling MK will eventually end up as some whacked-out old lady who lives in a horribly unkempt home with two-foot-high grass and about 30 or 40 cats inside? Age her another 40 years and she’d have the look down pat.

  12. peachpie

    tweeny trolls ~ lol green~!

  13. silvarga

    ZeldaF – Yes!
    She could be carried around by some giant (like ginger spice’s personal trainer) and make everyone address her as “Master-Blaster” from Beyond Thunderdome.

  14. uh

    Choose another school… maybe a smaller, private one. If Brooke Shields and Jodie Foster could do it, she can too.

  15. newfgirl

    Paranoid much?

  16. Zekers

    Why is she frequently photographed covering her mouth? Are her teeth bad or is she trying to prevent food from going in…green gases from emitting out?

  17. sandy

    Tinfoil hats LOL!!
    She looks like a 6 year old boy. She should take classes on the net. It’s easy.

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