Mary Kate Olsen is a Reported Cocaine Addict

June 29th, 2004 // 13 Comments


If it’s in Star Magazine it must be true.

Nothing is ever as it seems. While I do feel some sympathy for the teen tyke in her struggle with anorexia, there is no sympathy for being a Coke freak! That’s so ’80′s. She looses points with all the hipsters (if she had any anyway). Why not Heroin, or Special K, Crystal, or GHB? She’ll never star in an indie film after this. Although, maybe Ashley will play Mary Kate in the Lifetime Movie version – The Adventures of Mary Kate Olsen: The Case of the Anorexic Coke Addict.

Defamer ran a photo of what the “original cover” was supposed to be. Also, take a look at the $14,000/month Soho loft that the Olsen Twins were thinking about renting, until their lease was withdrawn [via Curbed].

For continued laughs, please read the comments (it’s up to 62 hilarious comments) to my original posting on Mary Kate. If these girls are the future of our country, I’m headed to Europe. Although, I now know why the Olsen Twins are mulitmillionaires.

Some tasty samples from the youth of America:

who r you to say that its not true and another reason people who come to this site and know this is all a stupid scam she loves her sister so much and supposebly wut u say she did eating all her food could kill mk and ashley loves her sister and she would never do that.and you must be jealous cause you r the uglyest person alive and obviously dont know them like there best friend does (posted by friend)

WHAT THE HECK???mary-kate only did that because of presure and…. how could ashley , why would ashley steal mary-kates food?if you look at all their pictures together, they are so close and ashley would never do that to someone expesily her sis. why dont you talk about your self instead of mary-kate and ashley???just shut u with all this crap your sayin !!!!!!!!!!!!!and everyone knows that picture is fake!!!casue i ahve the same picture and ashley aint fat like you say she is!!! (posted by posted by KW what the heck? shut up!!!!)

Let the clueless reign!

By Miu von Furstenberg

  1. astralgirl01

    these days, i’m starting to believe the star more and more for the hot scoops… who would have EVER thought that a tabloid rag could make good?

  2. Savannah

    the guy that owns Star, National Esquire, Globe etc. is worth way more than the Olsen twins. So unless he was just asking for a big lawsuit then why else would he put something like Mary-Kate being a coke addict on the cover of his mag? so she really is probably a coke addict.

  3. amyfisher

    Savannah… how the fuck do you think he got so rich???

  4. holden47

    savannah, congrats on sounding about 12 by posting the comment you just did

  5. Miu, I think you’ve been meaning to post this for a few weeks now:

    Satire: the use of ridicule, irony, etc., to create such an effect

    parody: mimicry of someone’s individual manner in a humorous or satirical way

  6. Faustino

    Damn, that sucks, such a pretty, wealthy, and smart girl doing cocaine…

    Don’t stiff lines Mary-Kate! Smoke WEED! I’d smoke bud with that little chick anytime.

    Pick it, pack it,
    Fire it up, Come along,
    And take a hit from the bong.

  7. shannon

    I am proud of her. She’s made a huge step by letting her family intervene. so she’s got issues; we all do. it’s sick that tabloids have to exploit her, but that’s their job. please keep her in your thoughts, and understand that she’s human.

  8. lifelongfan :)

    all this drama is really not needed.. if you are my age (and theirs.. you should kno how stressful life can be) imagine being on tv for over 17 years.. thats more than the majority of their lives!! you cant even think of how stressful it could be.. so to all you wannabe *critics* i think you should really take into consideration what they’ve had to deal with. they are multimillion dollar girls who make allowances and what they choose to spend it on is their own damn buisness.. really! yes i kno that it isnt the best decision to make (doing coke if its even true) but most of us can admit to dealing with our problems in wrong ways.. noone is perfect and yes.. even celebrities do make mistakes! wow bet that shocked you =o .. the best thing tho is that marykate is seeking professional help for whatever it is that she needs. i think everyone should support her.. it isnt the easiest thing in the world to admit you have a problem and that is the 1st step to recovery. I wish marykate and the rest of her family and friends luck. ashley- hang in there! :)

  9. ashley

    you know, youd think with all the stress and publicity, shed do something to CALM her down, rather than make her more anxious and wired (not couting the frappacino she drinks every morning). youd think shed take vicodin, or do heroin.. or even become an alcoholic before doing coke, yeah?

  10. cl

    Are these the women of tomorrow??

  11. me


  12. zooey

    I love it!

  13. Miu

    Many of the comments to this post have been deleted since you tween boys and girls can’t play nice. Since I can’t spank each and everyone of you for include profanity and otherwise rude comments toward each other, I’ve taken away your commenting privileges on this post. Get a life people.

Leave A Comment