Martinis and Popcorn: ‘Vampires Suck,’ ‘Piranha 3-D,’ ‘Nanny McPhee Returns,’ ‘Lottery Ticket’ and ‘The Switch’

It is a sad day when a movie junkie has to admit to herself that this weekend… will be a television weekend.

Marking the end of the summer box office race, Hollywood is releasing five films that will barely make a blip on the radar. Furthermore, DVD release this weekend are bogus – yes, I used he word “bogus.”

Riding the coat tales of the vampire trend, Vampires Suck is the latest parody from the directors who brought you Epic Movie and Meet the Spartans. Giving Twi-hards a chance to giggle at their obsession, Vampires Suck will bring audiences in for curiosity …and lust.

Both Piranha 3-D and Lottery Ticket are expecting low numbers and will not contend for any box office top spots. Unfortunately, no one is afraid of guppies with sharp teeth in 3D and Bow Wow is going through an awkward transition as he attempts at an adult career. He probably would’ve done better had he partnered up with Tyler Perry.

America’s sweetheart Jennifer Aniston will smile pretty and play her a-typical role in The Switch opposite Jason Bateman. The storyline of a 40-year-old woman using artificial insemination to get pregnant and then later finds out her boyfriend switched out the sperm, hits a little too close to home for me. Seriously, will someone throw poor Jennifer a bone? She’s starving for a dramatic role that will take her out of the Friend-zone.

The biggest guns of the weekend set to compete with The Expendables, which landed box office #1… is Nanny McPhee Returns. The original, written by Hollywood Star-let Emma Thompson, will sure to get a few jabs if her ill looking nanny kicks Sylvester Stallone and his arson of action heroes!