Madonna Nanny’s Book Proposal: Not A Lot Of Madonna, But Don’t Eat At The Kabbalah Centre?


See, I was all excited about this ish, and now I’m crestfallen. Who cares about you, bitch – I want to know the lowdown on Madge! Anyway, the book proposal Madonna’s former nanny was shopping around contains an account of her first meeting with Madge but little else .

We entered the old, decrepit building through the basement level. The walls were dirty and dank. The air felt swampy and the carpets were stained and dirty. Kids laughed and screamed and chased each other through the rooms. I couldn’t believe Madonna would walk through this place, much less let her kids play here. On our way to the main room we passed a kitchen where cooks were preparing a meal, and I shuddered and made a mental note to myself–never eat here.

Keep reading. It’s a little thin. I think Madonna has said more to me directly in the four times I’ve seen her in concert. And I can’t afford floor seats.

A service and a meal transpire before Melissa is finally introduced to her charges’ mother.

Madonna looked straight into my eyes. “You’ve got great kids,” I said, trying to be as warm and friendly as possible. Her eyebrows rose a tiny fraction. “Thanks,” she responded in a clipped tone, then looked back at Audrey [the nanny Melissa was to replace] as if to say, “Got it?” Audrey nodded and Madonna turned on her heel and returned to her seat at the head table. That was it for an interview with my prospective employer.

Believe it or not, that word is the only thing “M” is quoted as saying in the entire 75-page proposal

I believe it. What a bust. I wanted some friggin’ accounts of Lourdes-beating and Guy getting drunk and smooching guys down the pub, and Madonna fighting with various celebrities and what her inspiration was for that messed-up video where she’s jazzercising in a leotard. Guess I’ll have to keep making them up on this website, then. Stop wasting my time, Nanny!

Tags: Madonna