Madonna Thinking About How To Offload This Bitch

Madonna’s ready. You can see it. Let me tell you something. If I got inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame and my husband didn’t show? It would be on. If I’m being honored for centuries of style-jacking and producer-using, my bitch better show up!

Here’s Madge and her soon-to-be-ex-husband, director Guy Ritchie, at Harry’s in London last night. This is what we call “damage control.” But no amount of Kabbalah water is going to fill this pit of resentment and despair.

You can see her mind working overtime and weighing it all. “Well, he’s fairly useless and nowhere near an Oscar. But I don’t want to be twice divorced aging pop star and I DID NOT work on this British accent for nothing. He definitely showed his ass and got people talking when he didn’t show up for my induction. Maybe there could be a ‘riding accident’ or something,” is what she’s thinking.

In other faux-British gay icon news, a sneak preview of Madonna’s new album Hard Candy will be available for special download for Vodaphone customers. Isn’t that what the RCA dog sat in front of and barked? A song a day will be available for 24 hours starting on April 21. I can’t wait to hear Timbaland tracks with Madonna backing vocals.

Photos: Getty Images

More photos of Madonna and Guy Ritchie in London are after the jump.

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Photos: Getty Images