Jennifer Lopez Putting Those Babies In Danger Of A UFO Abduction

April 7th, 2008 // 13 Comments

Photos: WENN

Oh HELL NAH! Jennifer Lopez has reportedly asked Tom Cruise to be the godfather of Max and Emme. Jesus H. Christ, why don’t you just package them up and MAIL THEM To Clearwater, Florida so they can begin their prison stint in cult land? I heard that compound with the 70 wives of polygamy in Texas is looking for new wives to join the cause. I’m sure Emme’s up for that as well, abusive mother!

J. Lo is said to have overridden husband Marc Anthony’s objection to Cruise being the godfather. Marc is Catholic. Don’t you kinda have to share the religion to be a godfather? Jesus didn’t ride in a spaceship! That we know of.

Cruise has reportedly been showering the Anthony twins with gifts, including a nursery fish tank, and (is this right?) 200K on designer christening outfits! Are they suits made of diamond? Something is very, very wrong here. J. Lo needs to haul her fat caboose back to her local parish and pray for guidance. You don’t just let the tractor beam take your kids away!

By J. Harvey
  1. Francois

    I don’t blame her.Tom Cruise is the most famous person in the world,and a good human being.

  2. Anonymous

    She had to choose a scientologist because she is into the cult like Tom Cruise and all the hollywood recruits. Let’s hope he turns out to be a good godparent; somehow I know he will be because he is an excellent father to his three children.

  3. UFO's?

    UFO’s? whatever happened to religious tolerance. Scientology is a religion like all others. You need to learn to respect people’s beliefs regardless of your ignorance.

  4. whatever

    Wasn’t Leah remini auditioning for that role?

  5. chester

    I’d like to see Tom and J.Lo together in a sexy movie.

  6. litlte Xenu

    I am not a fan of these two, however I do think they are smart because they belong to my cult.

  7. littleXenu

    I am not a fan of these two, however I do think they are smart because they belong to my cult.

  8. Meg

    Does this mean Katie Holmes will be the Godmother?…I don’t think so, Katie and J.Lo don’t seem to get along.

  9. Ben

    Mark Anthony looks like raggedy skeleton,
    Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

  10. porgie famewh#ore

    Do scientology children have godparents?…this story sounds made up.

  11. They didn’t meantion the Godmother didn’t they? That’s weird not to want the same two people, I don’t care if they are from the moon at least it should be a couple, then everything could be shared together. If they have separate then that might be a costodey battle if something happened to their parents. So if Jlo don’t like the wife, then she shouldn’t pick the husband either. I think we worry about things like this, because we can eazily be in this sitsuation, or our children. people can take a lesson from this and maybe some of our opinions could help others. Getting in people’s business sometimes is like a school or church lesson, None of the stories that we read about could be our business, but we get curious enough to read, and need an answer or sometimes can give one, like now. If you believe in helping people, sometimes you can’t mind your own business. Although this is not my business… If this is what they choose…I wish them the best.

  12. Juno

    ~~~~~~~~~~I don’t blame her.Tom Cruise is the most famous person in the world,and a good human being. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Tom, is that you? The most famous person in the world?? Um, I kinda doubt that.

  13. TC

    I’m not too keen on the topic of Scientology but I’m pretty sure that “godfather” is a Christian belief. So either, 1. the story is BS or, 2. celebrities are bigger morons than we originally suspected.

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