Lohan’s Parents As Terrible As You Imagined

Now I get it. Sure, you need to get over your parents’ crap and make your own way. But Daddy shouldn’t be throwing you over the hood of the car on the expressway and calling you a slut at 16. Damn. Did Jesus advise that, Michael? A former bodyguard who worked for the Lohans between 2002 and 2005 has sold them out. He’s given some predictable details as to how they treated Linds when she was growing up.

Lohan’s former bodyguard of three years, Tony Almeida, says neither Dina nor Michael Lohan provided any structure for Lindsay when she was growing up and that both were wild, abusive, neglectful partyers who needed to keep their “cash cow” daughter working to pay their bills.

Keep reading for the highway incident. It’s a doozy.

Once, when Lindsay was 16, Michael flew into a rage while driving and “slammed on the brakes and dragged her out of the car, pushed her up against the hood, screamed at her and called her a slut. This was on the Long Island Expressway! I got in the middle of it and pulled him off.”

As Lindsay’s manager, Dina – who was desperate to become a star herself – received 10 percent of her income. “Lindsay was the family cash cow – and she resented it,” Almeida claims. “They counted on her to pay their bills . . . I saw Lindsay exhausted, begging her mother for some time off.”

Almeida also reveals that Lindsay was allowed by her parents to share a room at 15 with her then 14 year old boyfriend Aaron Carter. That’s some meth greasiness right there. Imagine your first time being with that? Ugh. And he says Lohan was always threatening suicide and cutting herself and he would catch her in closets honking up the white stuff. “The Parent Trap” is sullied for me forever at this point.