Lohan’s 21st Is Cancelled

I had an outfit picked out and everything. Lohan’s 21st birthday party at Pure in Vegas, aka “A Celebration of Sobriety”, has been cancelled. And she got to keep the money! Do things ever not pan out for this hooker?

“The party was canceled officially over two weeks ago. We were confused why PURE was even still promoting it. But Lindsay will not be having the birthday party at PURE and is focusing on her recovery 100 percent.”

Yes, I’m sure it was all terribly confusing that they thought she would leave rehab and immediately make a beeline for a barroom. Because she’s such a pristine young lady who believes in moderation and never does things like get photographed fake-stabbing people whilst high or trying to kill curbs in her car chock full of cocaine. Yeah, confusing.