Lindsay Lohan’s Doctors Investigated

Ah, Lindsay Lohan, I just can’t quit you!  I’ll stop talking about you when one of us is dead (I’d put money on me – bacon is a cruel mistress).

Needless to say, a scapegoat must be seized in the case of Lindsay Lohan v. Earth, and to the surprise of no one, the evil-doers were brought to light by Michael Lohan and his beleaguered attorney.  They are none other than “the unscrupulous doctors [who] overprescribe medications…”

UCLA rehab facility doctors recently concluded that Lindsay was misdiagnosed with ADHD, for which she was prescribed medication.  Let’s analyze this for a moment: Lindsay’s behavior of the last several years (getting drunk daily, doing coke, multiple traffic violations, a car chase/ kidnapping, and a bunch of other stuff I can’t be bothered to commit to memory) was caused by medication she was taking for ADHD?  Mighty powerful drug, I reckon, to completely contort one’s personality.  And wasn’t she off the medication when she recently hit a stroller with her car?

Regardless, Lindsay was reportedly taking Dilaudid, Adderall, Nexium, Zoloft, Trazodone, and Ambien upon checking into rehab.  Didn’t anyone in Lindsay’s life, including Lindsay herself, think it strange that a 24-year-old woman would need more prescriptions than Larry King?

Why am I asking stupid questions when you could be looking at pictures of Lindsay stopping by the courthouse in Santa Monica Tuesday.  If this outfit isn’t evidence that Lindsay is mentally incapacitated, I don’t know what is.  What are those, formal jogging shorts?