Lindsay Lohan: The Neverending Story
If you are at all familiar with the magical interwebs, you may have heard some things about Lindsay Lohan lately. Well, buckle up; here’s some more.
Ok, on the one hand, Lindsay is clearly paranoid, as evidenced by her blaming her father, Michael Lohan, for her stolen passport (because he’s evil Houdini now!), but in her favor, a fuzzy TMZ photo isn’t exactly evidence for the prosecution (RIP Law & Order).
To sum up: Lindsay Lohan is a complete mess who is in all likelihood taking drugs of some sort, but is ironically correct to be paranoid, seeing as many are desperate to catch her in the act, something she’s mostly eluded (with the exception of her coke pants car chase – 10 bucks to whoever names their band Coke Pants Car Chase btw).
TMZ is now also reporting that this damning photo will not be addressed in Lindsay’s court case because it is pure speculation.
Frankly, I’ve been speculating these attached pictures of Lindsay at some fancy boat party in Cannes (yes, there’s more). Despite all the Chanel, homegirl still looks a mess. I’ve lived in New York long enough to know coke bloat when I see it (spending the Noughties in the East Village gives you special powers!), and she could stand dragging a comb through that down-trodden weave, but otherwise, I kind of dig her look. Shut up. I can be nice.