Lindsay Lohan Looking at 180 Days, a Damaged Career and Says She Likes to Borrow Cokeheads’ Pants

(WENN)

If you thought Paris was kicking and screaming at the prospect of doing less than a month in jail, I can only imagine the potential hissy-fit that Lindsay Lohan is prepared to throw when someone has to tell her that she is quite possibly looking at six months in jail for her recent DUI. Her best bet, according to the estimation of legal experts, is to remove herself from her party lifestyle and consider attending a recovery treatment center devoid of the amenities of a spa. Barry Gerald Sands, a Century City defense attorney, does double-duty as a certified substance abuse counselor and recommends that Lindsay change her lifestyle completely.

“She has to change her alleged friends, people sharing or selling her drugs. She has to lead a clean and sober life.

“Silk-sheet recovery homes don’t do the job.”

Is he actually suggesting that she go seek help at an establishment without a Brazilian waxer on staff? The heartless bastard. I’m actually surprised that Promises keeps letting her back in, considering all the negative publicity she’s given them. They’re much more forgiving than the film industry, which at this point in Lohan’s career, pretty much considers her too great a financial risk to hire for work in a film.

“I hope they put her in jail for as long as they can,” said Bernie Brillstein, whose company has represented John Belushi and Chris Farley. “Maybe she’ll realize how serious it is. I believe she’s uninsurable. And when you’re uninsurable in this town, you’re done.”

As a result of Lindsay’s inability to promote her two most recent films, “I Know Who Killed Me,” and “Poor Things,” because of legal and personal troubles, she is being branded as a curse on the film set. Of course, this out-of-control behavior should come as no surprise, seeing as her mother is a complete and utter Looney Tune. Dina Lohan, who subsists solely on air, water and interviews like these, sat down to chat with Entertainment Tonight to clear up the details surrounding the events leading up to Lindsay’s arrest.

Find out what the Lohan camp alleges took place, after the jump…

OK, I think I understand this correctly.

Lindsay was hanging out with a bunch of her friends at her home, many of whom say she never drank any alcohol, but at some point, she got enough alcohol in her system to fail a breathalyzer. Her assistant, Tarin, showed up looking upset, she and Lindsay then got into some kind of a spat, Tarin was possibly fired and then Tarin left with Lindsay close behind her. Then, the notorious chase began!

Two people were in the car with Lindsay and it’s not sure who was doing the chasing, but Tarin’s mom called the police as a result. The cops showed up, made Lindsay take a breathalyzer, bada bing, bada boom. The rest, as they say, is history. However, an interesting claim that Lindsay is making is that the cocaine found on her person did not belong to her. She claims she was wearing someone else’s pants. You know, because MOVIE STARS DON’T HAVE ENOUGH MONEY FOR PANTS. Sorry, but I’m just finding that last part a little odd.