Lindsay Lohan Looking at 180 Days, a Damaged Career and Says She Likes to Borrow Cokeheads’ Pants

July 26th, 2007 // 24 Comments


If you thought Paris was kicking and screaming at the prospect of doing less than a month in jail, I can only imagine the potential hissy-fit that Lindsay Lohan is prepared to throw when someone has to tell her that she is quite possibly looking at six months in jail for her recent DUI. Her best bet, according to the estimation of legal experts, is to remove herself from her party lifestyle and consider attending a recovery treatment center devoid of the amenities of a spa. Barry Gerald Sands, a Century City defense attorney, does double-duty as a certified substance abuse counselor and recommends that Lindsay change her lifestyle completely.

“She has to change her alleged friends, people sharing or selling her drugs. She has to lead a clean and sober life.

“Silk-sheet recovery homes don’t do the job.”

Is he actually suggesting that she go seek help at an establishment without a Brazilian waxer on staff? The heartless bastard. I’m actually surprised that Promises keeps letting her back in, considering all the negative publicity she’s given them. They’re much more forgiving than the film industry, which at this point in Lohan’s career, pretty much considers her too great a financial risk to hire for work in a film.

“I hope they put her in jail for as long as they can,” said Bernie Brillstein, whose company has represented John Belushi and Chris Farley. “Maybe she’ll realize how serious it is. I believe she’s uninsurable. And when you’re uninsurable in this town, you’re done.”

As a result of Lindsay’s inability to promote her two most recent films, “I Know Who Killed Me,” and “Poor Things,” because of legal and personal troubles, she is being branded as a curse on the film set. Of course, this out-of-control behavior should come as no surprise, seeing as her mother is a complete and utter Looney Tune. Dina Lohan, who subsists solely on air, water and interviews like these, sat down to chat with Entertainment Tonight to clear up the details surrounding the events leading up to Lindsay’s arrest.

Find out what the Lohan camp alleges took place, after the jump…

OK, I think I understand this correctly.

Lindsay was hanging out with a bunch of her friends at her home, many of whom say she never drank any alcohol, but at some point, she got enough alcohol in her system to fail a breathalyzer. Her assistant, Tarin, showed up looking upset, she and Lindsay then got into some kind of a spat, Tarin was possibly fired and then Tarin left with Lindsay close behind her. Then, the notorious chase began!

Two people were in the car with Lindsay and it’s not sure who was doing the chasing, but Tarin’s mom called the police as a result. The cops showed up, made Lindsay take a breathalyzer, bada bing, bada boom. The rest, as they say, is history. However, an interesting claim that Lindsay is making is that the cocaine found on her person did not belong to her. She claims she was wearing someone else’s pants. You know, because MOVIE STARS DON’T HAVE ENOUGH MONEY FOR PANTS. Sorry, but I’m just finding that last part a little odd.

By Lisa Timmons

  1. jesse d

    Does her mother want her dead? Seriously. Because if you keep up with this denial thing, that’s what’s going to happen. STOP DEFENDING HER and GET HER SOME HELP. Not rehab, either. At least, not these “resorts” she’s been in.

  2. peachpie

    *wipes tears from eyes* ahhhhhahahahahahaha — that’s a good one Linds — someone else’s pants! deny. deny. deny. ya’ll sure she’s not a politician-in-training?

  3. Zekers

    Great writing Lisa!

    Jail would be the humane thing to do for Lindsay at this point…with restricted visits from her bizarro family members.

  4. Blue Velveeta

    If they can’t find out who owns the pants LiLo was in, I hope they at least find the person who spilled alcohol down her throat!

  5. green cardigan

    Blue Velveeta – I think what happened was, Lindsay was yawning and thinking of having a camomile tea, when one of her pals tripped in front of her while holding a bottle of booze, the booze went straight into Linds open yawning mouth and down her throat ! What’s a girl to do! And then! because a few drops of booze splashed on her pants, she decided to change them….

  6. jay

    the hottest all-in-one blog on the net

  7. Samantha Jones

    It makes me literally ILL every time Dina opens up that lying, whoring, freckled ugly mouth of hers. Someone kick them out of Hollywood altogether, PLEASE.

  8. wednesday

    HA! I called it! In yesterday’s comments, my 4th excuse was “I was borrowing a friend’s pants.” And lo and behold! That excuse actually comes out of her mouth.

    Wonder how many more I’ll get right.

  9. moss

    hahaha green cardigan I was THERE that is EXACTLY what happened except it was orange spice tea not chammomile.

    And Lindz wasn’t yawning she was singing, rehearsing for her next double-platinum album.

  10. bullet

    Who cares if they were someone else’s pants? She was still responsible. Didn’t most of us learn that lesson growing up? BTW that story’s a load of cr%p. She needs to begin taking responsility for her actions.

  11. Hey Dina, Get A Clue



  12. Prick Up Your Ears

    “Someone else’s pants”.

    Which “Friend” is willing to fall on their sword and say “Those are my pants, Officer!”

  13. lee

    i was having a funny conversation with my friend about lindsay lohan. check out this gossip and let me know what you think.
    and ijust ran into this funny ann coulter video.

  14. T-Bone

    When are these dumb young actors going to figure out that the world doesn’t revolve around them and that you only have so much time in life to get it right?

    The best thing that could happen to her and all of the others is that they never get offered work again. That will teach them a thing or two about life.

  15. Jinxy McDeath

    Addiction is a terrible disease, it doesn’t have anything to do with her mom, dad, or her friends. She’s a sick 21 year old.

    She’s going to do 3 months and Nicole Richie, if and when she goes to trial will do the same, and should because they need to be off the streets. Hopefully both of them will lose their licenses for a few years, ensuring the rest of us get home alive.

    Linds should consider shutting up, and taking time off to go to college for a few years while working on her problems in relative obscurity. She won’t do it, but if she did she might get a career back, a small one – but this is probably going to end up with her dying. Sad really.

  16. mad_scientist

    Addiction is an awful disease, but at some point you have to make a choice. Hollywood, her mother, and everyone around has used her. Told her that no big deal, you dont have a problem, and it spirals out of control.

    What really frustrates me is that if I or my friends had multiple DUI’s and coke possession, we would be in jail, end of story.

    She, along with other famous people, get to walk or get leniency that is not afford to us commoners. What will help her is for someone, anyone, to be hard on her for once in her life.

    Whether that be jail for possession, or Hollywood not giving her any work at all to support her habit. It would be tough love, but it just may save her life.

  17. Mikki

    WHAT kind of parent reaches out to the media during a time like this? HONESTLY. Lindsay needs her mother talking to the media like she needs another rail of coke. On top of that, to let her younger daughter write a letter to a tabloid show and talk badly about a father that THE MOTHER gave her, is so beyond me. I hope the judge in their custody battle looks at that statement that was released by Allie Lohan today and realizes that Dina is a alienating her kid from her father. Whether or not that Dad was a bad Dad, it’s still THEIR FATHER and she should not encourage their bad feelings, they will figure it out on their own…trust me. The scenario Dina is going to find herself in is with one child dead from a drug overdose and another child who resents being “programmed” to hate her Dad. Like I said, the kids will figure it out. The parent that takes the high road, always, always ALWAYS wins. DINA, for CHRISTS SAKE get off the fucking television/email campaign and start being a MOM. Christ!

  18. jrxblue

    They we’re my pants.
    Sorry Lindsay!

  19. jbonz

    I’m thinking of opening a rehab center called “Promises Promises”, featuring a revolutionary treatment modality wherein the clients or “out-residents” simply “call in” their therapy to a computer automated system that then cuts all calls into 5-10 second bits and shuffles them together before recording them on a “group session” CD that the patients can have their favorite DJ play for them at the club.
    Think anyone in Hollywood will go for it?

  20. sodajerk

    I’m Spartacus.

  21. Ednonymous

    Addiction is a terrible disease? Tough shit! Send her to jail before she kill someone.

  22. DB

    “The black guy was driving!!” Stupid bitch, that might’ve worked if you hadn’t been drunk and coked up a few days out of rehab……

  23. lins get a life!!!

    lidnsay lohan is just a fucked up weirdo who will never be normal no matter how many times she goes to rehab!!!!!!And someone has to FINALLY tell her that no treatment ESPECIALLY the ones that she is getting will fix her problems!!! The only person that can help her is her mom,crazy Dina Lohan.But she is not capable of being a mom who will ignore the tabloids. she is only capable of being a bitch and manager of her kids. SHE IS JUST A HORRILE MOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  24. lins get a life!!!

    lidnsay lohan is just a fucked up weirdo who will never be normal no matter how many times she goes to rehab!!!!!!And someone has to FINALLY tell her that no treatment ESPECIALLY the ones that she is getting will fix her problems!!! The only person that can help her is her mom,crazy Dina Lohan.

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