Lindsay Lohan Has Advice For Her 45-Year Old Sister

Goddamn, someone needs to have a sitdown with this 14 year old. She should be sitting in her unicorn decorated bedroom and watching Nickelodeon. She should not look like a Long Island supercougar at this age. Get her some moisturizer and better role models! Ali Lohan is set to star with her stage mom from hell Dina Lohan in a new reality series for E! called “Living Lohan”. I assume it will be a lot of Dina talking to the press and Ali fetching Mommy cocktails.

Anyway, Ali recently told “Teen Vogue” that she “wants to be famous so bad”. Ugh, that’s terrifying to me. That leads to a lot of bad decisions. Like doing a reality show with your hag momma or softcore. Big sister Lindsay Lohan’s advice to Ali is “stay out of the clubs”. That’s the smartest thing that slattern has said in ages.

Lindsay also says that “I wish her the best of luck.” Translation: “you ain’t getting a cent from me or any type of collaboration on this mess.” You know this show isn’t Lindsay’s fondest wish. She wishes for the type of alcoholic mom who just passes out when she’s drunk, not running to every network possible to make “statements”.

Photos: Splash/WENN