Lindsay Lohan, A Glass Half-Full Kind of Gal

With TMZ on her speed-dial, I’m sure, Lindsay Lohan very efficiently relayed her official statement to the media concerning her current stint in rehab.

“Lindsay admitted herself to an intensive medical rehabilitation facility on Memorial Day. Because this is a medical matter, it is our hope that the press will appreciate the seriousness of the situation and respect the privacy of Lindsay as well as the other patients receiving treatment at the facility.”

I’m really, REALLY hoping that last sentence was a thinly-veiled jab at her spotlight-lovin’ mother. But if anything good is coming of this, then perhaps this accident will serve as a wake-up call for Lindsay to turn her life around. BWAHAHAHA! OMG, I totally couldn’t even deliver that with a straight face. But seriously, the upside of this whole mess is that someone will be able to make some money off her car accident.

Find out WTF Lisa means after the jump…

As it turns out, some enterprising individual is auctioning off the “pieces and parts” from Lindsay’s accident in Beverly Hills in her Mercedes on eBay. And sadly, it’s not me. Sigh. Sorry to disappoint.

“Up for auction are 100 per cent authentic guaranteed pieces and parts of actress Lindsay Lohan’s Mercedes SL 65 AMG black convertible recovered from the scene of the accident. Before the scene was completely cleaned up, we recovered these remaining fragments of her car, including the front lights and parts of the body. The winning bidder will receive a sworn written and signed statement to the exact accounts and claims stated above from the person who recovered these items from the scene. This is not a joke. It’s just Hollywood Memorabilia for those who are interested in such things.”

I love that–in “such things”–I wonder if that’s code for “insane wastes of money.” Unless the “pieces and parts” contain massive amounts of cocaine.