Hide The Kids, Lohan Might Be Getting Out Soon

September 25th, 2007 // 3 Comments

(WENN)

There’s word that Lindsay Lohan might be getting out of the joint. Well, why not? She’s already slept with everybody’s husband. What else is there to do? What do you mean get sober? You’ve obviously never been to rehab, novice!

Lindsay Lohanis about to be a free woman. A pal of the recovering actress tells us she is set to leave rehab this weekend.

Lohan has been staying at the Cirque Lodge in Sundance, Utah, since the first weekend in August. She was infamously carrying cocaine in her pocket during a July DUI bust, and later tested positive for the drug.

Asked where she was headed on her release, the pal responded, “I don’t think she knows yet.”

She doesn’t know because she’s high as a damn kite. She probably think she’s going back to Bag End. All she’s been doing for the past couple of months is bang in bathroom stalls and sneak lines. She probably thought she was in L.A. and Al Gore finally put in motion the idea she sent him for a smog removal machine that ran on love.

By J. Harvey
  1. Amanda

    My, my J. Especially snarky today.

    Doesn’t mean it isn’t true, but wow.

    Ladies, lock up your husbands…

  2. Loob

    I wonder if she has ever considered copyrighting that fucking annoying peace sign she flashes incessantly? I’m sure she probably thinks it’s her very own super clever hand gesture.
    And everyone else is on that trendy copyrighting bandwagon.

  3. lovey

    Back to Bag End. Thank God – I needed a laugh.

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