Lindsay Lohan’s Rockin’ Cokeless New Year’s Eve

October 24th, 2007 // 3 Comments

I’d rather watch Dick Clark count the ball down with stroke face. Lindsay Lohan reportedly still has to keep an engagement in Las Vegas on New Year’s Eve seeing as she cancelled on her 21st birthday party because she was headed into rehab. Word is that she owes these Vegas people an appearance and has to do it because she doesn’t have the scratch to pay them back. Her ass is broke! Toe up! Her stock has plummeted. If her current cache in Hollywood was stock, men would be leaping out of windows on Wall St. like it was the beginning of the Great Depression. Lindsay’s worth would be turning people into carpetbaggers. Steinbeck would be writing novels about people having to live in that time. There would be grapes. And wrath.

“Lindsay doesn’t want to host, but she’s contractually obligated,” a source says.

The source tells the weekly entertainment magazine that Lohan took on the gig in order to pay back the “hundreds of thousands of dollars” she got by agreeing to host her 21st birthday in Sin City at PURE Nightclub (which, like LAX, is owned by Pure Management Group). Lohan was forced to scrap the July 2 bash to focus on her treatment in rehab.

Just get some chickenhead in a red and blonde wig with some painted freckles to stand up on a banquette in strobelights for ten seconds and blow some dry ice around her. No one’s gonna know the diff. I’ve been to one of these “hosted by” deals. You can’t even see the trollop because she’s up in some dumb VIP area high above all of us peons and occasionally flashes her face to half-hearted cheers from the already drunk and high crowd. It isn’t like she’s going to be giving a reading from her National Book Award winner. You could also have the lookalike on her knees in the men’s room stalls for that extra touch of realism.

Photos: WENN

By J. Harvey
asl

  1. stolidog

    “I’d rather watch Dick Clark count the ball down with stroke face”.

    ouch.

  2. red wine makes me leave comments

    You know you’ve got bad extensions when you find yourself walking around with your hood up in order to cover the mess.

    + J. Harvey, you’re priceless.

  3. wowza

    new lips for lohan? i think so.

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