Jesus’ Phone Is Ringing off the Hook with Calls from Young Hollywood

If Lindsay had a pair of well-adjusted, functional parents, I’d be working in a button factory somewhere and not enjoying the lavish blogger lifestyle that I’m living today. So, as much as I poke fun, these people better never get right. Or I’ll be quite pissed off. And the latest that Michael Lohan is spilling to The Insider about his famous daughter is that she has tripped and fallen into the arms of Our Lord and Savior.

“Lindsay has found this righteous path because she’s going to church and that’s a good sign.”

Michael also expressed relief that Lindsay’s 21st birthday bash at the PURE nightclub in Las Vegas has been axed, revealing that he thought the party was “absurd and thank God she called it off.” I have a sneaking suspicion that Dina Lohan is going to be out that night by herself with Lindsay’s driver’s license, trying to get herself free shots for most of the evening.