Jesus’ Phone Is Ringing off the Hook with Calls from Young Hollywood

June 20th, 2007 // 7 Comments

If Lindsay had a pair of well-adjusted, functional parents, I’d be working in a button factory somewhere and not enjoying the lavish blogger lifestyle that I’m living today. So, as much as I poke fun, these people better never get right. Or I’ll be quite pissed off. And the latest that Michael Lohan is spilling to The Insider about his famous daughter is that she has tripped and fallen into the arms of Our Lord and Savior.

“Lindsay has found this righteous path because she’s going to church and that’s a good sign.”

Michael also expressed relief that Lindsay’s 21st birthday bash at the PURE nightclub in Las Vegas has been axed, revealing that he thought the party was “absurd and thank God she called it off.” I have a sneaking suspicion that Dina Lohan is going to be out that night by herself with Lindsay’s driver’s license, trying to get herself free shots for most of the evening.


By Lisa Timmons

  1. Amera

    “Lindsay has found this righteous path because she’s going to church and that’s a good sign.”

    As a Christian I can say that just because she’s going to church, that doesn’t mean she knows Jesus. Christians can’t stand false conversions, just like people in the world.

  2. When I read that headline I woulda swore the story was about how popular the upcoming iPhone (dubbed the “Jesus Phone” by Gizmodo) was with Hollywood.

  3. Zekers

    So Amera, can a Christian “know Jesus” and hang out on a gossip blog? Just asking…

  4. T-Bone

    In my humble opinion, I think a brush with Jesus is a good thing for these young Hollywood sorts. Why? Because I’m sure for the first time EVER in their lives they’re actually thinking about something OTHER than themselves and OTHER than their superficial Hollywood world (which we all know is a temporary state). This can’t be a bad thing. The two big questions here are how genuine is their desire and how long will it last?

  5. sassyne

    This is good, definitely good. We all need Jesus. I hope she starts to put Jesus FIRST in her life, then everything else will fall in place.

  6. silvarga

    Maybe she can get a bright tattoo on her ass that says: “Now With 25% More JESUS!”

    …and then her PR team can pass out accompanying stickers that we can slap onto all her posters,CD’s and Magazine covers.

    How about commemorative communion wafers embossed with her initials and the date she found Jesus?

  7. West Ham Geezer

    Jesus can turn water into wine.


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