Let’s Divert Your Attention From The Oscar Coverage For a Little Bit With Some Man-Trash

February 26th, 2007 // 11 Comments

You know Brandon Davis? Sleazy heir to millions, friend of Paris, all around mess, no job? Yeah, well apparently he hee-hawed his way through Paris’ birthday jam on Saturday night . He mocked Paula Abdul’s Middle Eastern heritage, threw things, told Courtney Love he wanted to cum on her in front of her daughter (I’m sure it wasn’t a big deal for Courtney), and got tossed out. How did I ever find this swarthy f*cktard bitch attractive? What’s wrong with me? Is my self-esteem THAT low?

But around 10 p.m., Davis started acting up. “He was hurling flowers at Paula Abdul,” says a guest. “Then he began bombing her with Styrofoam flower-holders. He was shouting, ‘Lick my [BLEEP], Paula!’ He started mocking her ancestry by speaking gibberish in an Arabic accent.

“Stavros and Paris tried to stop him. Paris said, ‘Shut up, you’re wasted!’” But it was too late. Abdul, who was due to sing “Happy Birthday,” made an early exit.

Keep reading (and see more photos) to find out what he did to Courtney. Apparently, she’s developed some standards and wasn’t having it.

Davis then turned his dim beams on Love. “He lifted her up so that she was straddling his waist,” says a witness. “Her Chanel dress was riding up. Brandon was saying, ‘I want to squirt on you.’ He was humping Courtney in front of her daughter, Frances Bean. When he put her down, Courtney grabbed Frances and they marched out of the restaurant through the kitchen.”

The story goes on to say that Paris was crying to her parents that it wasn’t her fault that he was drunk. Pigboy was “encouraged” to leave, which he did. But then showed up at the after party. Nice! Seriously, not to stereotype but if there was a proud black sista there, none of this shit would have been tolerated. I want to see him roll up on Mary J. Blige or Jennifer Hudson with that mess. And then trying to get the Manolo out of his ass that got broken off up there. I’m picturing him throwing flower holders during a Mary J. Blighe performance. Mary would take off her hoops, hike up her dress and march off stage to smack the shit out of his greasy self. Also, uh, Paula Abdul’s singing Happy Birthday to you? Was that a request? Is Paris into pillhead karaoke? She couldn’t get a better singer? Was she going to follow up with “Rush, Rush”?

By J. Harvey

  1. sandy

    LOL JHarv. Now tell us how you REALLY feel about him? You are SO funny!!

  2. T-Bone

    This kid is going to wake up one day, realize what an idiot he is, and just sink in shame and embarrassment. That’s his destiny.

  3. goil

    Sorry to say, T-Bone, that will probably never happen. Why? Because no one ever tells this asshat to his face how much of a piece of shit he is. Pardon the language.

  4. T-Bone

    Seriously, I knew a couple of guys just like him in high school — big jocks, everyone wanted to be around them, they hung around the hottest women, people were scared of them, they said whatever they wanted to say and did whatever they wanted to do etc…etc… Now they’re both 43 years old, balding, alone, and doing labor jobs (one sells truck toppers and the other rakes golf course sand traps). That’s exactly what’s going to happen to this guy — minus the labor jobs, of course.

  5. Tiggy22

    Actually he wasn’t dissing Abdul’s heritage, because his dad is middle-eastern. Brandon Davis’ real last name is Zarif. his dad’s name is Nebil Zarif. His mom Nancy divorced him when Brandon was very young.

  6. yeah, maybe he just had a speach impediment. I hear that happens to retarded people sometimes.

    btw – just want to point out, just because two people share a similar ethnic background doesn’t mean he’s not stupid enough to make fun of them.

  7. rootabega

    ummmmmm….did anyone happen to zoom in on C.Love’s face????? OMG i thought it was joan rivers! what has she done?!?!

  8. Chrischris

    twiggy 22 just because you are of the same haritage doesnt give you the right to disrespect any one
    You are the company you keep, Paris should ugggh
    so not worth the advice
    I wish she would burst into flames already
    or od

  9. Unknown

    Pigboy? Manolo out of his ass? HAHAHAHAHAHA!
    J. Harv you are the best!
    No this greasy idiot will never feel any shame because he and Paris are unable to feel anything like shame, or empathy for others, etc.
    What disgusting people! UGH!

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