Let’s Divert Your Attention From The Oscar Coverage For a Little Bit With Some Man-Trash

You know Brandon Davis? Sleazy heir to millions, friend of Paris, all around mess, no job? Yeah, well apparently he hee-hawed his way through Paris’ birthday jam on Saturday night . He mocked Paula Abdul’s Middle Eastern heritage, threw things, told Courtney Love he wanted to cum on her in front of her daughter (I’m sure it wasn’t a big deal for Courtney), and got tossed out. How did I ever find this swarthy f*cktard bitch attractive? What’s wrong with me? Is my self-esteem THAT low?

But around 10 p.m., Davis started acting up. “He was hurling flowers at Paula Abdul,” says a guest. “Then he began bombing her with Styrofoam flower-holders. He was shouting, ‘Lick my [BLEEP], Paula!’ He started mocking her ancestry by speaking gibberish in an Arabic accent.

“Stavros and Paris tried to stop him. Paris said, ‘Shut up, you’re wasted!'” But it was too late. Abdul, who was due to sing “Happy Birthday,” made an early exit.

Keep reading (and see more photos) to find out what he did to Courtney. Apparently, she’s developed some standards and wasn’t having it.

Davis then turned his dim beams on Love. “He lifted her up so that she was straddling his waist,” says a witness. “Her Chanel dress was riding up. Brandon was saying, ‘I want to squirt on you.’ He was humping Courtney in front of her daughter, Frances Bean. When he put her down, Courtney grabbed Frances and they marched out of the restaurant through the kitchen.”

The story goes on to say that Paris was crying to her parents that it wasn’t her fault that he was drunk. Pigboy was “encouraged” to leave, which he did. But then showed up at the after party. Nice! Seriously, not to stereotype but if there was a proud black sista there, none of this shit would have been tolerated. I want to see him roll up on Mary J. Blige or Jennifer Hudson with that mess. And then trying to get the Manolo out of his ass that got broken off up there. I’m picturing him throwing flower holders during a Mary J. Blighe performance. Mary would take off her hoops, hike up her dress and march off stage to smack the shit out of his greasy self. Also, uh, Paula Abdul’s singing Happy Birthday to you? Was that a request? Is Paris into pillhead karaoke? She couldn’t get a better singer? Was she going to follow up with “Rush, Rush”?