Lauren Conrad’s Drunk

September 11th, 2007 // 13 Comments

What is he dressed as? A lesbian? Jeesh. Lauren Conrad and this clown Josh Henderson were out the other night and she got blitzed and nodded off while her dyke was hitting on some other skank. Judging by the pic, I’d say stick with the drinking.

The couple arrived hand in hand at the Belvedere Sky Villa Suite after the MTV Video Music Awards in Las Vegas Sunday night. Unfortunately, the free vodka may have taken its toll, and our girl “appeared to be nodding off,” according to a witness.

“Around 3:30 a.m. [Monday], she literally fell over in her chair backwards with her legs up,” laughs the witness. “I’ve never seen that happen before.”

But while Conrad drowsed, Henderson played. He seemed particularly taken by a bikini-clad model called Taylor who was working in the suite.

“He had his hands all over her,” says the spy. “At one point, he picked her up and was bouncing her.”

Beach blanket bimbos. Who wears a bikini to a suite party? “Model” = “stripper”. Seriously though, your man is dressed as K.D. Lang. He probably had dental dams in his back pocket and his penis is made out of flesh taken from his uvula. Drag king. Check things out. I would be drinking straight out the bottle, too.

(Flynet/WENN)

By J. Harvey
asl

  1. sexyback

    Does he have midget blood in him? What’s up with his stumpy legs?

  2. anon

    .. he looks like a little person? Is he a little person?

  3. JAM

    He looks like Booker from 21 Jump Street and…well Booker.

  4. nastybugger

    HA! I was going to say “those low slung jeans make him look like a little person”.

    glad to see I’m not the only one who thought so.

    and no, he’s not a little person. Just a douche who “dated” paris hilton.

  5. Chaz

    The only thing I know about this girl is what I read here, but it looks like she’s gone from having some sort of job at Teen Vogue when her show first came out, to basically partying every night these last few months. The trend is a little worrisome, and that’s leaving aside that she’s now hanging out with Paris’s leftovers.

  6. jt_boi

    J–

    As a drag king, I am offended. I look 10 times better than that douche. That vest makes me want to vomit.

  7. francoise

    Great minds think alike!!! My first reaction was, Wow, his arms are short! I even stood up to see where my own arms end, and my fingertips end at mid-thigh! Dude does appear to have that touch o’ dwarf.

  8. francoise

    Great minds think alike!!! My first reaction was, Wow, his arms are short! I even stood up to see where my own arms end, and my fingertips end at mid-thigh! Dude does appear to have that touch o’ dwarf.

  9. Ok. I’m TOTALLY gonna ask what dental dams are.

  10. silvarga

    Sorry jt_boi –

    This guy does fellagirly even better than Jake Gyllenhaal does k.d. Lang. Maybe and outdated 90′s lesbian, but lesbian nonetheless.

    When I came out back in the 90′s, I and a friend used to watch this barrista from afar, totally crushing on him. One day one of us got up the nerve to go up and talk to him (flowers and all) and found out he was actually one of those hot trompe l’oeil lesbians who looked A LOT like Josh Henderson does here. She thought it was pretty funny that two gay boys had a crush on her.

  11. luvb

    No way in hell I would touch Paris’ leftovers. How many weeks will it be before Lauren is diagnosed with Herpes!?! Paris has single handedly started a Herpes epidemic in the US.

  12. dental dam

    Clarisse, Dental dams are these little thin rubbery sheets that are used to cover the female genetalia as “protection” for oral sex.

    By my guestimate, Paris has stock in them; otherwise, I can’t see how many men would want to…”service” her b/c of the risk of oral herpes.

  13. Bouncing her? lol That’s a funny visual.

    The thing about LC is she sucks in bed so he was probably bored with her already.

    Later,
    Tom

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