Lauren Conrad’s A Bitch And Her Show Is About As Real As Santa Claus

I’m not bragging when I say this but I don’t watch “The Hills”. It’s not a snobbery thing, it’s a I-don’t-want-to-have-to-dropkick-my-TV thing. Seriously, I have to read enough articles and write enough about the dumb sluts on those shows that I feel like I don’t need to watch. Anyway, Lauren Conrad’s supposed to be the good girl on the show and it turns out that, SURPRISE, she’s a hagface in real life. Oh, and you already knew this but, SURPRISE, the show is so fake that it’s starting to show in the editing.

A spy at Lauren Conrad’s New York debut of her self-named clothing line complained she was nothing like her good-girl image off-camera.

“Lauren was in the booth and rolling her eyes the entire time she was there when the cameras weren’t on,” said a snitch at the Coterie trade show.

“She was obnoxious to buyers as they were shopping in her booth and refused to say hello. But when the cameras turned on, Lauren immediately perked up and pretended to be interested.”

You ungrateful wench. You should be licking the asses of people who watch your show. What else are you gonna do with your life? Clothing line? Maybe the 5-year-old in that Malaysian sweatshop with the bleeding fingers would rather HER name on your midi tops! She’s the one making the stuff! Give Kim Fong-Toy her cut! Keep reading for details on how obviously fake “The Hills” has gotten.

Photos: Bauer-Griffin Online

Blogging “Hills” fans also made fun of the show this week, by pointing out a sequence allegedly of her on a date, and reflecting on it afterward. (Somehow, she had found time to change her hair and nail polish.)

The show’s “villains,” Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag, were recently ridiculed for staging arrival and departure scenes at LAX, when she was supposed to have to gone to Colorado in the space of a wardrobe change.

She probably did change her hair and nail polish on a date. That’s the kind of rude bitch this one obviously is. “Do you mind if I take this call?” She’s one of those. Scratch that, she probably doesn’t even ask.