Lance Armstrong Is Working My Last Nerve

August 31st, 2006 // 9 Comments

After leaving a wife who stood by him through his battle with cancer for pop star, Sheryl Crow, to whom he subsequently became engaged until their recent split, one would assume that maybe Lance Armstrong might realize for a moment that his behavior is seeming dangerously similar to that of a man going through some kind of mid-life crisis.

But no, he continues to annoy me with news like this, from the New York Post’s Page Six:

COULD it be that Lance Armstrong has taken a break from incessantly working out with his new best friend, Matthew McConaughey – to spend time with Paris Hilton? The two showed up to the Key Club in L.A. Tuesday night to catch the band the Vacation. “They came together, they hung out and left together,” said our spy.

Tour de France, indeed. This shit ain’t cute, Lance. Quit it.

Written by Lisa Timmons

(Image source)

By Miu von Furstenberg
asl

  1. kelly

    Perhaps Paris thinks that if she hooks up with someone that had testicular cancer (are they both gone?) that she can still honor her “no sex for a year” statement??

  2. “Tour de France, indeed. This shit ain’t cute, Lance. Quit it.”

    That above quote has got to be one of the funniest things I have read on this site since I began reading it. And here I was all this time thinking that “that shit ain’t cute” was only popular within my circle of friends, cause well, it ain’t.

  3. Small Fry

    Well, he already lost one nut to cancer….soon he’ll lose the other to some wretched STD she passes on to him. What a shame. Then what will Matthew have left to play with?

  4. mdizzy

    lance’s wife was not with him during his battle with cancer, his mother was.

  5. mdizzy

    lance’s wife was not with him during his battle with cancer, his mother was.

  6. RDIGGITY

    I hope the dwarf didn’t look up her dress, he’ll be sorry

  7. coffeegod

    Thanks mdizzy. I was gonna post exactly the same thing. Also, he didn’t leave his wife, the split was very, very mutual.

    However….if he *is* hittin’ this skank, I’m way over him. I can’t blame a dog for shagging some b*tch in heat but that’s just too yucky to even comprehend. Say it ain’t so.

  8. TeSandell

    He’s trying to prove he has balls that ain’t there..

  9. Levitra

    Hello! Personally I fully agree with recent comments.

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