Someone Point Out a Sane Beauty Queen to Me, Please

Photos: Splash

The whole cliche of the perfect-on-the-outside-but-disturbed-beneath-the-surface beauty queen is way too overused in my opinion, except that the stories I’ve been hearing most lately are all true. This nutbag here is Miss Pima County 2005, Kumari Fulbright, and looks like she could use a straight-iron as much as that straitjacket she appears to be wearing. Girlfriend is accused of holding her ex-boyfriend hostage for over ten hours. She kidnapped him with some cronies (beauty queens have cronies?) and tortured him at gunpoint, biting him and “stuck a butcher knife in his ear and said she was going to kill him,” according to court documents. He finally wrestled the gun from her and escaped. They don’t mention when exactly she got trapped in a windstorm that whipped her hair into such an electric frenzy, but maybe “deranged and confused” was the look she was trying to achieve. Cause that’s a look that will win the jury’s hearts.