Kristy Lee Cook: Later, Bitch!

April 17th, 2008 // 24 Comments

Photos: Getty Images

Please use the time you would normally spend on reading the first paragraph of this post to envision J. Harvey dancing a merry jig over Kristy Lee Cook’s dismissal from American Idol. Begin!

Kristy Lee, Syesha Mercado and Brooke White were all in the bottom three last night, but it was Kristy who got the axe last night. Good riddance. That slut has been begging for an exit since Day 1. Someone must have found the photographs she had of Seacrest and Cowell with the underage Thai boys they accquired via the sex trafficker and destroyed them. Either that or she stopped swallowing.

Kristy allegedly sold her horse to get to the Idol auditions. Why didn’t she just ride it there? Dumb bitch.

This doesn’t matter, because she’s just going to wrap her ass in the flag and go straight to Nashville and make millions. Alright, I actually don’t have this much venom towards her. I’m still sore over Chikezie, that’s all. Chikezie? Can you hear me, baby?

By J. Harvey

  1. LRm216

    Why is she a “Bitch”? She may not have been your favorite (nor mine); however, that doesn’t make her a bitch. Just makes you look like what you are, a pompous stupid ass.

  2. Sha

    I could care less about American Idol but what you just wrote was some funny shit!

  3. BC

    Really ignoant to call her a slut. She was just a country girl trying to make it, again. She is a good girl.

  4. Kelly

    whatever. if you guys had watched the show on a regular basis, you would know that she was a disrespectful skank. she was a snarky little bitch. glad to see her finally gone.

  5. T-Bone

    Well, the strange thing is she sucked the first several weeks, and was in the bottom 3 every single week, yet somehow she slid by. Then, as she started to get better and find her very limited voice, the voters cut her. Odd. Girl should have been gone weeks ago! On top of that, she sold her beautiful horse! I wouldn’t sell even one of my dogs to get on any show.

  6. meredith

    She should have just ridden the horse to the auditions? Hahahahahahaha! Thank you for that laugh.

  7. the antikristy

    Mr. Harvey, I thought of you last nite when this hilbilly ho bag got the boot. It was great, finally, the voters got it right! she should of went the week your man did, he was tons better!!!
    Some may find your words to be a bit harsh, but I think you are just calling ‘em like you see ‘em!! Slutty dumb bitch!! hee haw, your ass is gone!!

  8. Melissa801

    well we have tooo many of these girls as it is -BITcH was not needed, goodbye

  9. Miss America

    I’m sorry, J, but I have to say something here. While I love your spot-on reviews and miss Chikezie as much as you do, how dare you personally assult this girl and THIS COUNTRY. Damn, son, what the hell has she done to you? Is it simply the fact that she’s white and gorgeous, and you’re…..not? I bet you got picked on by the pretty people like her during junior high. Poor little queen. And what has this country done to you? You’re free to screw who you want, aren’t you? You can’t marry them, but hey, marriage is for conservatives, right?

    Mr. Queen Gay Liberal and all those like you – where’s the compassion and acceptance for all and non-judgmental attitude that you accuse us flyover country toothless hillbilly patriots of NOT having?

    You wrap your gay ass in a rainbow flag everyday. And that’s fine. More power to you, you little faggot.

    How’s it feel now, bitch?

  10. goil

    miss america- why are you reading this blog? isnt there some appropriately white-christian-anti-fag-celebrity snark blog you can read instead?

  11. Kelly

    So Miss America, after that rant do you feel like you’re any better?


  12. angrynikki

    i did not like CLK either and very much wanted her booted weeks ago. i really think your comments are hateful and unnecessary and if it was in jest – not funny. maybe i’m more sensitive to this now or if i’m just now noticing it, but this seems to be the trend with a lot of your posts lately. i question wether i should continue checking this blog if you are going to write about women in this hateful way.

  13. Bird


    Yes, Jay hates women, that is why he has written on several occasions that he can’t imagine women farting or pooping because he thinks they are so perfect. And gossip blogs aren’t supposed to be sweet; they are supposed to make us laugh.

    And MissAmerica, you’re a moron. If you get this worked-up about a silly blog posting about someone you don’t know, you might want to consider some form of therapy. Take your homophobe self out of here and go read some Mother Goose, ass.

  14. chuy

    I hated that bitch too she always acted like she taught she was all that, and she acually believed she gave Miriah chills HAHAHA!!!!

  15. say what?

    to all you crying about J being mean….have you checked what site you’re on?!

    for christ’s sake, this site is here for just what he’s doing! get over it, or find another gossip site that fawns over celebs instead of bashing them (which is what they really need!).

    go out and buy yourself a clue or try Popsugar or some other such site.

    and how the f— did J insult this country? Ay carumba some of these people are DOLTS.

    Love ya J, keep up the good snark. Nobody does it better!

  16. ;o

    Oh the irony of J being mean. Isnt that what this site is about?

    The rest of the cast sucks. KLC shoudlve gone week one, but since then shes gotten LOADS better. She was definetly better in these last two or three weeks than Brooke or Syesha

  17. bee

    I usually find your commentary really funny but the bitch/slut stuff is beneath you. Really. Lord knows there are some sluts out there and I think bitch is a word better reserved for powerful women who aren’t afraid to speak their minds. You could call me a bitch, for instance. But this girl didn’t earn “bitch” nor did she ever display any sort of “slut” behavior. I know you can dig deeper for better vocab.

  18. i’m sorry to see her go. she actually started getting good . . . but she didn’t take a chance and go up on the high notes at the end of her song. if she had, she would have nailed it. but don’t try dancing kris you’re kinda awkward.

  19. Sandra

    thats some fucked up article. excuse me? where’s the irony here? hello? since when calling somebody stupid bitch or slut became funny? offensive? yes. funny? ironic? dont quite think so.

  20. Eric

    WOW, who ever wrote this must get really bored at there job! I mean shit, can you not think of anything better to do this sit on your fat ass and talk about people just trying to make it. I mean i know its your job to write about people but you could come up with something nice once in your fucking life to say!!!!!!

  21. kevin

    Jealousy is so unflattering and predictable. The girl has a great voice and she seems like a good person from the footage that we have seen. Regardless ,what’s up the person’s ass who wrote the article about her? I can’t be total jealousy can it? There must be something else right? Sounds like somebody needs some action.

  22. kevin

    Jealousy is so unflattering and predictable. The girl has a great voice and she seems like a good person from the footage that we have seen. Regardless ,what’s up the person’s ass who wrote the article about her? It can’t be just jealousy can it? There must be something else right? Sounds like somebody needs some action or attention from mommy and daddy.

  23. Did this bitch get her friends up to do this. No where did J call this bitch a slut. And he has a right to call her a bitch if she wants, its his fkn blog. If you wanna see mean go to Perez and see what he writes about people’s grandmothers. Move the fuck on if you dont like the way he writes. I LOVE YOU J. Harvey! Keep being the funny man that you are.

  24. flaming_amarant

    You guys are all idiots!!! KLC may not be a high pitched singer but her uniqueness made her a hit!!!

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