K-Fed Decides To Singlehandedly Reassert Just How Incredibly Fake Wrestling Is

Personally, I thought Kevin Federline was actually a bit TOO white-trash (Yeah, I said white-trash. It’s different when WE say it…) for professional wrestling, but apparently, the WWE disagrees. Starpulse News Blog reports:

Britney Spears’ estranged husband Kevin Federline has triumphed in his first official match as a wrestler, beating World Wrestling Entertainment star John Cena in 10 minutes. The aspiring rapper claimed victory at Miami, Florida’s American Airlines Arena on Monday night, and at one point he managed to get Cena, one of wrestling’s biggest names, into a headlock and a Masterlock/Full Nelson, according to MTV.com.

OK, in a real-life altercation between Federline and John Cena, K-Fed’s sphincter would currently be located somewhere between his inner ear canal and that underused mass of grey tissue referred to in other humans as a brain. If the WWE was at all interested in at least attempting to maintain the ruse that the fight is at all realistic, K-Fed should have had a shotgun on his person in the ring. And about a 20-minute headstart.

Also, we’re still referring to him as an “aspiring rapper?” That’s a bit too generous for my liking. Christmas is over, bitches.

Kevin Federline ‘Beats’ Wrestler John Cena [Starpulse News Blog]

More photos of Kevin Federline as he goes one-on-one with WWE Champion John Cena on Monday Night RAW after the jump.