Kenny Chesney Still Scarred From Being Married To Renee Zellweger

October 13th, 2008 // 6 Comments

Gay-ass country star Kenny Chesney (don’t even front that he’s not) is still freaked out from Renee Zellweger dumping his ass after finding out that he’s about the dudes. So he wrote a song about her. It’s called “That Squinty-Ass Bitch”…no, really it’s called “Nowhere to Go, Nowhere to Be.” Chesney said he was all sorts of effed up after their marriage broke up. So he took his ass down to the Virgin Islands to recuperate. And meet cabana boys.

“I got in a plane and went down to the Virgin Islands. I was completely by myself. I didn’t want to be around anybody,” tough bitch Chesney says. “So the
next thing you know, it’s me and a pen, and I sat down and wrote a lot
of lines of this song, ‘Nowhere to Go, Nowhere to Be.’”

Chesney says he’s over Zellweger and onto the next cowpoke.

“I already wrote those songs. I’m on to something else.” Yeah, his name’s Cody and he works as a go-go boy in a gay country & western bar.


Gay-ass country star Kenny Chesney (don’t even front that he’s not) is still freaked out from Renee Zellweger dumping his ass
after finding out that he’s about the dudes. So he wrote a song about
her. It’s called “That Squinty-Ass Bitch”…no, really it’s called
“Nowhere to Go, Nowhere to Be.” Chesney said he was all sorts of effed
up after their marriage broke up. So he took his ass down to the Virgin
Islands to recuperate. And meet cabana boys.”I got in a plane and went down to the Virgin Islands. I was completely by myself. I didn’t want to be around anybody,” tough bitch Chesney says. “So the
next thing you know, it’s me and a pen, and I sat down and wrote a lot
of lines of this song, ‘Nowhere to Go, Nowhere to Be.’”Chesney says he’s over Zellweger and onto the next cowpoke.”I
already wrote those songs. I’m on to something else.” Yeah, his name’s
Cody and he works as a go-go boy in a gay country & western bar.

By J. Harvey
  1. Shasta

    Don’t mess with Kenny! It was devastating enough that he married red face…. now these attacks??? Jokes… I do love Kenny though.

  2. Jean

    I hope Kenny Chesney reads this,and sues you,re ass.You have no idea if hes gay or not.I don,t think he is,and even if he was thats nobodys business,but his.Personally I think you,re the one thats gay.

  3. misslala

    Actually, Jean, J. Harvey IS gay and you’re lame. So there.

  4. KAC

    Kenny’s not gay, Renee’s the GAY one!! She wanted out when she couldn’t handle a real man like Kenny!!!

  5. Justin

    Learn to spell you jackass. Kenny is the best fag.

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