Ken Paves Dumps Jessica Simpson For Victoria Beckham

The thing about celebrities is that they seem to only want to hang out with each other. And who can blame them? If I was rich enough I’d cut out all the unattractive commoners from my life, too.

Not that I’m suggesting that Ken Paves has really dumped Jessica Simpson. But when the only headline J. Sim can bring in is when she’s discussing her lack of dental hygiene, I’d say it’s time for an upgrade! And there’s NO better upgrade than the fabulous Victoria Beckham.

She’s Posh. She gets to have sex with David anytime she wants AND she has genetically produced the three most attractive children in all of Hollywood.

She may have been camera-shy while shopping on Saturday but trust me Ken, don’t let this one go. You’re just another gay hair-dresser without her.