Kelly Ripa Cursed With A Perfect Husband

July 11th, 2008 // 10 Comments

This would irritate the balls off of me. Hamptons diva Kelly Ripa says that her piece never looks off-point. She’s married to her former All My Children co-star, Mark Consuelos. Apparently he never gets bats in the cave, or leaves the seat up, and probably always looks flawless and awesome. God, I hate him. It’s been in the 90s everyday forever and I can’t step out of my damn door without a giant sweat stain on my back which repulses the locals and causes children to crash their bikes. He probably doesn’t even sweat. Or he does, and it just accentuate his cheekbones. BASTARD!

“I will say it is irritating that he wakes looking exactly like how he
went to bed, because I wake up looking like a Chihuahua. He closes his
eyes, and he’s gorgeous, and he wakes up, and he’s gorgeous. And he
doesn’t have morning breath,” she says.

Oh, f*ck him.

He’s probably dumb as mulch. Good!

Click any of the photos to view the entire gallery.


This would irritate the balls off of me. Hamptons diva
Kelly Ripa says that her piece never looks off-point. She’s married to
her former All My Children co-star, Mark Consuelos. Apparently he never
gets bats in the cave, or leaves the seat up, and probably always looks
flawless and awesome. God, I hate him. It’s been in the 90s everyday
forever and I can’t step out of my damn door without a giant sweat
stain on my back which repulses the locals and causes children to crash
their bikes. He probably doesn’t even sweat. Or he does, and it just
accentuate his cheekbones. BASTARD!”I will say it is irritating that he wakes looking exactly like how he
went to bed, because I wake up looking like a Chihuahua. He closes his
eyes, and he’s gorgeous, and he wakes up, and he’s gorgeous. And he
doesn’t have morning breath,” she says.

Oh, f*ck him.He’s probably dumb as mulch. Good!Click any of the photos to view the entire gallery.

By J. Harvey
asl

  1. green cardigan

    i don’t know. He’s no great shakes . I don’t see the appeal. He has that over worked out body that will run to man boobies and love handles once he stops lifting weights.And he’s probably boring as f@ck. look at him there with his healthy glass of water and the ‘hey, i’m so cute’ grin. He probably counts calories and files his nails. Nah ! Rotten.

    JH, you sound like you have heat rage. Iced beer is a good remedy for that.

  2. Riverwolf

    Or he’s gay and she doesn’t know it! We’re always fabulous!

  3. Riverwolf

    Or he’s gay and she doesn’t know it! We’re always fabulous!

  4. whoa

    nice pit hair, kelly ripa.

  5. mki

    I love this couple. She’s worked her ass to get where she is. She works and he stays home with the kids, no wonder he looks so good.

  6. couple

    I feel sorry for that poor lady. I saw this guy’s personal ad is still available at that millionaire dating site Richromances.com. What happend to this couple?

  7. couple

    I feel sorry for that poor lady. I saw this guy’s personal ad is still available at that millionaire dating site Richromances.com. What happend to this couple?

  8. spamalert

    “couple” is a spammer!!! I’ve been seeing these fake comments all over the boards – -fucking spammers

  9. Pansy Aston

    Mark is a college graduate, and works a lot in TV, starring in movies and hosting various shows. Kelly is a charmer, and like SJP, knows she is privileged and is grateful. Both Consuelos do a lot of charity work, while hands-on rearing their children.

  10. Gravy

    They’re making out and she’s reaching over for like gravy or something – lol.

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