Katie’s Giant Bag of Bad Ideas Include Marrying Tom Cruise

Tom Cruise on Tom Cruise

Even with that giant purse in hand, Katie Holmes still brings way less baggage to her unlikely relationship with Tom Cruise than her wacky husband. A video was recently posted from the vaults of Scientology that is nine minutes long and was played during the actor’s acceptance of the Freedom Medal of Valor award during an International Association of Scientologists event.

In the video, he talks in detail about what he believes that it means to be a Scientologist. I’m thinking, “Sweet, this will finally clear up any vagaries on what the basis of the religion is.” Alas, I was disappointed to hear him talk in very intense circles essentially about nothing in particular and I was left with less information than when I first started watching this video. It was like listening to a pothead explain why smoking pot is such a mind-altering experience that like totally opens your mind to new ideas, dude.

Basically, what I understand is that Scientologists instinctively know the answers to everything. And what would a Tom Cruise speech be without some maniacal laughter? About halfway through the video–and I still have no idea what he’s talking about–he starts laughing about the question of whether or not he’s met an SP or “suppressive person,” which is a term used to describe what I have surmised from the Wikipedia entry about it as an enemy of the religion and this is what causes him to crack up. I’m so lost. That background music finally made me so tense, I had to quit watching.

Photos: Bauer-Griffin Online

Photos of a bag-less Tom Cruise trolling the streets of New York City are after the jump and video of Tom talking about Scientology is after the jump.

(Hint – Right-click on the image thumbnails with your mouse to open them in a new tab or window.)

Photos: WENN