Kathleen Turner Finds These Grapes To Be Sour

January 23rd, 2008 // 12 Comments

So once upon a time, Kathleen Turner was a Hollywood bombshell. In the 80s, she was working in Cate Blanchett/Angelina Jolie territory in films like “Prizzi’s Honor,” “Body Heat” and “Romancing The Stone.” What happened? Well, Hollywood is pretty sexist. So when Kathy started gaining weight due to arthritis or drinking or something, she got written off. The film roles stopped coming, and she kinda got relegated to stage work and stunt casting on shows such as “Friends” and “Nip/Tuck”. What’s a gal to do?

Well, she’s still fierce and apparently full of booze and realizing she’s not going to ascend to the heights she was once at – so it’s time to sell everyone out in a book! Her new tome, “Send Yourself Roses” (we all should, really), tears celebrities such as Nicolas Cage, Burt Reynolds and William Hurt a new one. That puffiness in her face is caused by her venom sacs! Kathy paints Nicolas Cage as a total pinhead saying that on the set of “Peggy Sue Got Married” he “went against to show that he wasn’t under his uncle’s [Francis Ford Coppola's] wing. Which was ridiculous. Oh, that stupid voice of his and the fake teeth! Honestly, I cringe to think about it. He caused so many problems,” Turner writes. “He was arrested twice for drunk driving and, I think, once for stealing a dog. He’d come across a Chihuahua he liked and stuck it in his jacket.”

Nick Cage denied her charges through his PR rep. So that’s where my goddamn Chihuahua Debbie Lipshitz went as a child! Damn you, Nicolas Cage! I cried for at least a half-hour until the “Charlie’s Angels” re-run came on!

Photos: Getty Images

By J. Harvey

  1. rootabega

    OMG i love this woman! romancing the stone is the best movie ever made! i cannot wait to peruse her book..

  2. peachpie

    i’m still laughing over the dig at nic cage’s fake teeth! go girl!

  3. devil

    Well, Nicolas Cage DOES have a stupid voice and fake teeth. Maybe the whole book is true?

  4. Loob

    Considering how much they hated eachother’s guts, she and Burt still managed to do a great job in “Switching Channels”. But the real joy there was Christopher Reeve. He was absolutely hilarious.

    How come it’s so hard to find a copy of “Serial Mom”? That movie was cool!

  5. The “NATURE” is revenging itself on your FACE, yak!!

  6. FuntKase

    She ought not to be commenting on anyone else’s voice or looks. Has she heard herself lately? Has she looked in the mirror lately?

    Shuffle back into your apartment and pour yourself another shot.

  7. mike

    Nic Cage was probably on the lookout for future toupee material when he swiped the pooch.

  8. Zekers

    She is starting to resemble Lauren Bacall…only bigger.

  9. T-Bone

    I like her in movies. I’ve heard her interviewed, and I think THIS is what happened to her face (in this order):

    1)Thinking so much of herself that she thinks she’s above silly things like good diet and exercise.




  10. Nanc'

    I also read excerpts from her book and she does seem bitter….about everything and pretty much everyone. She had a good life doing what she loved and made tons of money out of it. Couldn’t she have been just a bit more gracious?

  11. green cardigan

    Nicholas Cage was arrested for stealing a dog?? and he stuck it in his jacket???

    What did he do, see a dog, think ‘mmmmm, me want that doggy!’, grab it by the collar, unzip his jacket , shove him in, rezip his jacket and run off with the sound of police sirens in his wake?

    I Love It!!!!

  12. Nanc'

    p.s. How many of us (“common folk”) have had to deal with asshole bosses and co-workers at some time? I’m guessing about 99.9% of us. I just think she could have been a tiny bit more positive about something/someone.

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