Karl Would Have Thrown a Shit Fit

January 4th, 2007 // 2 Comments

If Lindsay Lohan would have slummed it with K-Fed, she could have immediately erased her name from Karl Lagerfeld’s BFF list. Federline, is quite simply (and about as mildly as I can put it) an oxygen thief and is about a green sweater vest from being a slightly less-better dressed version of the old Nickelodeon cartoon character, Doug. (My apologies to Doug.)

The story goes something like this…

Kevin, perhaps hoping that Lindsay Lohan had recently sustained massive, judgement-impairing head trauma, recently sent her a text message, stating “We should hang out.” Lohan (after no doubt throwing up a little in her mouth) thought it was hilarious that the man one hit short of technically being able to call himself a “one-hit wonder,” actually thought she would want anything with him. Her reply of “Why the hell would I hang out with you?” was not welcomed by Federline and he responded with the oh-so-clever and not at all over used cut-down of “firecrotch.”

A source added that Lindsay:

“…couldn’t believe he was so pathetic. She doesn’t want him using her to make Britney jealous.”

Yeah, cause Lindsay’s got such incredibly high standards when it comes to men. That woman’s vagina is about as impenetrable as a tissue fortress.

By Cara Harrington

  1. Miranda

    Damn right you should apologize to Doug.

  2. adriana

    LoL, I really don’t think he looks like Doug at all!!!

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